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Would this offend you?

I finally, after 20 years, got a chance to meet my long lost sister! I am so happy to meet her and can't wait to have a relationship with her. She is the only family member on my dad's side that I have met. My dad never wanted to be in my life and then died before I got a chance to meet him, so meeting my sister is one of the happiest moments for me! She is getting married in a few months, but told me I was NOT invited! I am very upset about this but she keeps saying if the roles were reversed, she wouldn't be upset because we haven't known each other that long. I'm upset because she is family and we are after all sisters. Plus, family that I never met will be there. Our dads side of the family lives in another state and I don't know when I will get another chance to meet them. How would you feel if you weren't invited?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Oct. 1, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • Maybe she doesn't want her wedding to be about your family reunion. Why don't you make arrangements to meet with that side of the family another time? Even tho she is blood, you just met. She's just getting to know you.  Wish her well & keep the lines of commication open.  But don't get overbearing or too demanding, or you could put her off. 

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:07 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Would she be bumping someone else to invite you? Is this a reception that is $ per plate?
    Did you ask to go or did she say,"I'm not inviting you(so basically don't ask me)"?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:10 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Wow, I think you need to relax, and not worry about it, it takes time to build a relationship, no matter if you are blood or not, perhaps you are being a bit forward?
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 6:11 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • She may have told the other part of the family that she was going to meet you and was met with apprehention from the other side. She doesn't want to be put on the spot and to be uncomfortable on the most important day of her life. You should find a way to respect that, even though it makes you feel hurt.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 6:16 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • I agree that she likely is concerned that her big day will become too much about you. So I would just honor her position on your attending the wedding.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:20 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • I didn't ask her. I knew I wasn't invited when people on her face book page stated they got her invite in the mail. Well, I never got one. So, that's how I found out. Since I was upset, I didn't talk to her for a week or so and she asked me if something was wrong, so I told her....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:22 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • Don't focus on her wedding. You've got a lifetime to get to know each other. Let her enjoy her day. Weddings are very stressful, and there is a lot going on for her.
    Just be there for her after the wedding and stay friendly.
    AubreyRed

    Answer by AubreyRed at 6:23 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • I think it would offend me at first, but then I would realize that it might be opening up a whole lot of drama that she doesn't want to deal with on her wedding day. All the responses thus far have been right on. It's about her wedding. Be happy for her
    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 6:34 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • You just met her. Genetics does not change the fact that you two are still essentially strangers. You're expecting far too much, expecting her to embrace you as a sister and invite you to the wedding. Her wedding is not about you, it's about her marrying the man that she loves.

    You need to chill out and relax. Enjoy the fact that you have met and are getting to know each other. In time, you two will be close sisters, if it's meant to be.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:34 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

  • I can see where this would sting a little. But maybe it's bestif you set up the meeting for another time, when nobody is getting married. It would be overwhelming for your sister to deal with both in one day.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 7:02 PM on Oct. 1, 2013

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