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What the hell did he mean?

My fiance and I have been fighting over the same thing forever. I want him to be more affectionate and he says "that's just not me" when I know it is. He did it all the time before we moved in with family and now I get nothing. He refuses to go back to full 2nd shift instead of 3rd because he says he's a night person and that's never going to change. He's never going to not stay up until 3 in the morning or later because that's just the way he is. The other day he decided to tell me that he never wants or wanted to marry me (after proposing and giving me a wedding/engagement set) and that he wants to love me but 99% of the time he wants to rip my head off. Then 5 minutes later tells me he does love me and wants to fix everything. I gave the rings back when he said he never wanted to marry me and then later that day he gave them back and told me to put them on. I'm confused. He hates me but wants to or does love me?

 
bassyentihw

Asked by bassyentihw at 12:03 PM on Feb. 19, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (23)
  • IMO, you are on a roller coaster of a ride of your life if you don't get out NOW!!! This guy is playing you for a fool. You are just letting him bring you down.. This I love you one day and don't love you the next is BS!! He needs to grow up.. Do yourself a favor and let him go and play this game w/ someone else..
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 12:16 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • He sounds like he has emotional attachment issues. You can't be affectionate if your not emotionally attached. Get out if and while you can.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • It sounds like he may have some serious issues and needs therapy. You should follow your heart in a situation like this and decide about the situation and if you acually believe he loves you etc. Sorry you have to go through this!
    hannahwill

    Answer by hannahwill at 12:08 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • He sounds very confused. Maybe try going to counseling or something? Or take a break for a bit and see what happens? I, personally, wouldn't want to stay in a relationship with somebody who didn't know what they wanted. You could be wasting your time and you could be with someone who appreciates you and wants to marry you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Run from this relationship!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • mine pulled this stunt when he felt like i was going to leave him...Like he had to do it first or something...
    Carli26

    Answer by Carli26 at 12:17 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • follow your heart. i would leave so he can figure out what he wants
    shortimicmama

    Answer by shortimicmama at 12:18 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Dude thats nuts if i were you i would take a break from him so he can figure out what he really wants. And in the mean time if you just happen to find someone who isn't so flaky it will be his loss. Don't let him control the relationship girlie just imagine what he'll be acting like if you guys actually get married You'll be screwed. He'll probly say you pushed him into getting married cause he sounds like that much of a douche bag.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Who cares what he wants. Do you want a man who does this to you? I hope not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I probably completely wrong but one I've my friends is going through this( except he's seeing another women) . They just had twins through in vitro ....now he says he never really wanted kids and never really wanted to marry her. Its not like this was an unplanned pregnancy, he spent a lot of money to get her pregnant. Oh and he wants to leave her for his girl friend. Few days later he's back he loves her and wants to be with the kids. No one could unterstand why he was doing this ( he's our friend too).  Turns out he's bipolar and off his meds.

    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 1:15 PM on Feb. 19, 2009