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Is this inappropriate or irresponsible?

i recently reconnected with an old friend from highschool and we have a lot in common. we're both single parents and he's been nothing but respectful which is a new thing for me, i have a habit of picking losers. anyway he lives 30 minutes away so we don't get to see eachother often. we aren't officially dating we're just "talking" for right now but i want to see him more and vice versa. i havent invited him over to my house because, though we've known eachother for years, my kids don't know him. i haven't met his child either and neither of us are at the point of being comfortable with that. do you think it would be inappropriate to invite him over after the kids are asleep? it's not like we're going to have sex or anything, but it would be nice to see eachother more often. and it wouldn't be an every night thing, maybe once a week. or should i wait to invite him over until my kids meet him?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Oct. 6, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Wait. Your kids could wake up while he was there. If you aren't ready for them to meet him then you need to meet up with him when you don't have the kids. 30 min isn't that far.

    Answer by kmath at 7:17 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

  • get a sitter.... meet up with him. If you won't have him over with your kids awake why would you have him in the house when they are asleep?? He's still in the house with your kids!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 7:18 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

  • its not about him being in the house crafty its about him meeting the kids.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:21 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

  • You are missing the point...

    Answer by Crafty26 at 7:24 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

  • IMO yes it is inappropriate. The timing alone implies intimacy. I suggest you meet on neutral ground for the time being.

    Answer by Dardenella at 7:25 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

  • They're really the same thing. If he's in the house, then he could end up meeting your kids. They could easily wake up while he's there. Imagine the scene if they wake up while he's in the bathroom and they meet in the hallway - and you're not even standing right there!

    I wouldn't do it. If you're not ready for him to meet your kids, then don't have him in your house when the kids are there.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:25 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

  • You sure he is not married? Have you ever been to his house? If you do not want him to meet the kids, do not have him over. Even after the kids go to bed.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:32 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

  • Do the kids go to their dad's for overnight visits? That would be a good time to plan a meeting with him. Either that, or you get a sitter. Like others have pointed out, the kids could wake up & then what?!

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:35 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

  • At this point yes. It's inappropriate. Don't have him over till you're ready for him to meet the kids.

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:37 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

  • ok i guess thats why i had my doubts about doing it because it would be inappropriate

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:38 PM on Oct. 6, 2013

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