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Do you agree doctors can talk to your teen alone, about sex, without you present? Should they hand out condoms?

Working in a medical setting we typically will ask parents to step out of the room and ask questions about sexual activity. Some parents are alarmed by this. On the other hand many MANY teens have acknowledged being sexually active but their parents do not think they are. Then of course condoms and birth control options are discussed. Teens can get birth control prescriptions and are offered to go through ways it is less expensive and won't show up on insurance. A bag of condoms is given out to go into the purse if the teen wants them. All kinds of fun flavors to increase use. Would you be okay with this if this was your teen?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Oct. 10, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I would be okay with it. Though I have talked to my kids and when my daughter felt she was ready- she came to me and asked to go get birth control. I made an appointment for her as soon as she asked me

    I do NOT understand parents who would be against it...seriously.

    also...WHY is this posted anonymously?!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:44 AM on Oct. 10, 2013

  • I'd rather buy condoms than diapers! If the only way for birth control to happen is a doctor talking to my teen without my knowledge, then I guess it would have to be done. Hopefully I can avoid that issue when my daughter reaches her teen years by being honest and forthcoming with the information she asks for so she doesn't see a need to look for answers elsewhere.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:49 AM on Oct. 10, 2013

  • Our doctor has her privacy policy and her preferred practices posted in her office.
    From what she wrote, it seems clear that she honors confidentiality and understands the importance of honest disclosure & access to information for teens, but she also understands that family is important and that parents want to be involved. I think she cares a lot about NOT setting up situations where parents are "kept in the dark" and teens are given supplies & prescriptions. So....she does state that she will not disclose (to parents) what teens of a certain age confide in her, but she encourages teens to talk with their parents. I'm sure she would help facilitate conversations, too, if the teen felt too fearful to broach it alone.
    Knowing my doctor, she is aware of the actual family dynamics in each situation & likely is very realistic about what a teen can reasonably expect, and I feel certain she'd "work with" some parents, too.

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:08 AM on Oct. 10, 2013

  • My children are still younger (so I don't yet have teens) but I do not like the idea of a third party dealing with these issues with my teen without my knowledge, doing things like giving out "bags of condoms" in "all kinds of fun flavors to increase use" or providing birth control prescriptions in ways that keep it secret. I want to know that information & be part of the decision process. However, IF my teen were sexually active or planning to become sexually active, I absolutely would want him/her to have access to information & resources, and to be able to talk to someone & to disclose the medical situation honestly. So yes, I would agree that our doctor SHOULD talk to my teen alone, with full confidentiality, and I'm glad that this would be possible.

    And if my teen felt it was "necessary" to hide this information from me, believing we didn't have the relationship that would ALLOW open communication, I hope I'd own that!

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:24 AM on Oct. 10, 2013

  • YES!!! as long as the doctor advises me of what is going on....


    Answer by older at 9:43 AM on Oct. 10, 2013

  • Yes

    Answer by DJDNY at 9:44 AM on Oct. 10, 2013

  • Older, the parents do not get the information that their child is having sex. That is kept confidential. The doctors will highly suggest, without saying why, the parent consider some birth control options. The doctor will not confirm if the child is sexually active. Unless the child is below the legal age to consent to have sex. Then all bets are off. But at that point the parents are not excused from the room. It is only when the teen reaches the age of legal consent. Interestingly enough, most parents are very okay with it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:50 AM on Oct. 10, 2013

  • So you're talking about teens aged 18 and over?


    Answer by goldpandora at 10:09 AM on Oct. 10, 2013

  • I would not like it, but I'd prefer my teen to be told about the rights and wrongs regardless of me being there, as much as it bothers some parents, if teens want to go out and have sex, at least their now given the option and info to do it safely!

    Answer by kylie_bob at 10:10 AM on Oct. 10, 2013

  • In our state it would be teens 15 and over.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Oct. 10, 2013