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Did you marry the "NICE" guy?

Most of us love our husbands. Most of our husbands are decent men...but I was never attracted to the "nicey nice" guys, so when I met my now husband who was mysterious, intelligent, handsome and not the best boyfriend in the world, I fell in love. One child later, I'm kind of paying the price for my attraction. He's dependable and nice enough, but has a short fuse. I like to keep things positive, but if he's not happy he lets everyone know it.

In some cases, the men we were attracted to or even ended up marrying may not have been the best choices for lifetime partners. Since all of that initial attraction becomes irrelevant anyway, I should have gone the super nice route.

What are your experiences? Did you marry the "nice" guy? OR are you making it work with a decent man with whom you were once madly in love with, but he isn't necessarily a "sweetheart?"

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Oct. 12, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • Nice guy. The ones who are not nice should be left on the shelf.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:06 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

  • I married the "bad boy" who was a true sweetheart underneath.

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 1:06 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

  • I would say my husband is a "nice guy". He treats me and our son great, is quick to help others in need and is respectful. But he also isn't a "push over' that some identify with Nice guys..he is a New Yorker through and through but a great guy.

    My ex was not, he was probably the complete opposite of a nice guy, and in reality much like the men I saw my mother choose(shudder)....I learned my lesson, got therapy and made a much better choice afterwards.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 1:10 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

  • i married (and divorced) the sweettalker that could rock my world in bed, but was a complete and total asshole. i won't ever take the nice guy for granted again. i do know what you mean though, i'm not attracted to men that don't atleast have somewhat of a 'bad boy' in them, but there are plenty that can be both the bad boy and the gentlemen at the same time.

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:10 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

  • I married the nice guy the second time around, first time I married the I can do what I want because you love me and won't leave me guy, yeah that lasted all of 14 months hee hee- guess he didn't realize I loved ME and my child MORE.

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 1:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

  • My husband is also a bad boy who is really a nice guy underneath. He was pretty wild when he was young, and the first few years of our marriage there were some rough times, but underneath he's a really nice guy who works hard, is dependable, takes good care of his family, and is loving and gentle with his wife and kids.

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

  • I loved my husband, still do now that he's an ex, and I love my boyfriend who is the father of my little girl. Both of them are what I would call, from your description, decent men. But attractions being what they are, I seem to have made a pattern in my life of falling for men who are, on the most basic level, selfish. Their needs tend to come first, and they'll contribute to the household if pushed, but only as far as they're pushed at any given time. They seem to expect that a lot of the things necessary for their comfort and care will just magically happen. I do find myself bearing the brunt of the burden a lot, but I suppose it's at least partially my fault for not nipping that in the bud when the relationship started. It was nice to feel needed in the beginning, but needed eventually turns into taken for granted.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:28 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

  • Like you, I dated every dick out there but they were all really good looking and many shallow. I went through several and gave up on meeting a nice, good looking, intelligent, funny man. The moment I gave up, was the day the nice guy walked into a wedding I was attending. I swear it. I took one look at him and knew I'd marry him. It's been 15 years. He's sweet, smart and really handsome. I got lucky. I think the universe knew I needed good looks to keep me interested and I still find him attractive. He is not, however, very funny. I miss that.

    For you, if you love him, that's one thing but if you don't, there is something to that. Is there a chance to work on things, improve them? Are you happy?

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 2:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

  • 1st time i married the ass. 2nd time I married the nice guy that looks like a bad boy (shaved head, earring, tongue piercing, etc). Nobody dares mess with him when we're out, but he's the biggest teddy bear in the world!

    Answer by missanc at 2:52 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

  • I married a super nice but very serious guy.
    The serious part is completely opposite of me.
    I love to joke, have fun etc. This is why work is important to me. I can pull pranks there, lol

    Answer by KTElite at 2:55 PM on Oct. 12, 2013

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