My daughter has an adopted nanna and papa (a couple from church). They love each other very much, and since my parents aren't in the picture and my boyfriend's folks are out of state, I'd like to preserve the relationship for my daughter if at all possible. Nanna and Papa attend a lot of school events, and she goes to their house now and then for sleepovers. Nanna is going to babysit tomorrow so I can get some work done for my upcoming deadline.
But here's the problem. I asked my daughter to clean up the living room before she went to bed because it looked like a tornado had blown through. She was none too pleased about putting toys away, so I told her Nanna and Papa would be picking us up for church in the morning and she'd get to go home with them afterward for a while. Instead of the excitement and anticipation I had anticipated, my daughter started frantically stuffing toys in totes and shoving junk under the coffee table. When I asked her what was going on, she said that when Nanna picked us up for church last week and saw the house all messy with toys and coloring supplies, she told my daughter that if she walked in on that kind of a disaster again, she'd spank my daughter's butt. She said it wasn't safe for the floor to be strewn with stuff I could trip on. I wasn't in the room to hear her say that or I would have nipped it in the bud then and there, believe me.
My boyfriend says to just let it go, she probably won't do it and there's no point starting an argument. But I feel that Nanna stepped way over the line. I wouldn't dream of threatening to spank somebody else's kid, even one I knew well. Or telling someone else's kid how to act in her own parents' house. I don't want to start a needless argument, but I don't want Nanna threatening to spank my daughter, especially without my knowledge. And God help the woman if she ever went through with it, especially for something non-dangerous like an untidy living room. Typically, she's used time-out when my daughter is at her house, the same as I do here. I have no problem with her expecting good behavior from my daughter and disciplining her accordingly, and I wouldn't necessarily even having a problem with her giving my daughter a swat on the butt for doing something dangerous like running in a parking lot.
So what are my options? What would you all do?
Answer by girlwithC at 5:34 PM on Oct. 13, 2013
Answer by KTElite at 2:01 AM on Oct. 13, 2013
Answer by musicmaker at 1:44 AM on Oct. 13, 2013
There is always the direct approach. When I heard my mom call my kids stupid idiots, just like she used to call me, I told her directly that I did not want her to ever call my kids stupid idiots. She actually did what I asked.
Answer by musicmaker at 1:47 AM on Oct. 13, 2013
Answer by silverthreads at 8:07 AM on Oct. 13, 2013
Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:49 AM on Oct. 13, 2013
Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 11:20 AM on Oct. 13, 2013
Answer by Dardenella at 2:00 PM on Oct. 13, 2013
I would just ask her(nanna) if she has ever, either spanked or threatened to spank. If she has did both. Take action. If she hasn't, just apologize. Explain what your DD said.
Answer by louise2 at 8:47 AM on Oct. 13, 2013