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Heartbroken over my son not doing well in Kindergarten

I went to a parent teacher conference but in the office with my sons teacher and principle and a month earlier than the other conferences that were scheduled and I have another one then too, because he is having serious problems, I dont know where to start, I am heartbroken, I didn't expect it to be this way for my son who is age 5, he gets notes home saying that he yells, wipes out his desk and others, crawls under desks, has a hard time in general for holding the pencil ,having patience with directions for more than one task at a time, he says" I cant" he will get mad at the other students and claim that they hate him or he calls them stupid, he acts tired, which I dont understand he goes to bed at 8 pm and gets up at 7am, he is ADHD so hes has other problems, the teacher and principle recommend he does half day or he can just not go to kindergarten at all, they suggested a counselor for him, title one and help from a disability service, they didn't offer me an IEP( individual education plan) which I am mad about and need to call them about because they need to work with what he needs, not him meet their needs, they said that they did a few tests on him and he got a zero for all of them, what am I supposed to do really I have been working with him on writing , the alphabet and I do see problems but I am just so upset and worried about him while hes at school and what I am going to do now? my other son is advanced and the school mentioned that and I was like yeah and...its not like I have worked with him any less? I reached out to a disability service but they said that would mean that he doesn't attend kindergarten any more and just works with them, ugh so now I am torn, I want him in kindergarten but I want him to get help, I want direction on how to help him better.

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Asked by n8nnickmom at 12:02 PM on Oct. 15, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,137 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • How is he at home? Was he ever in any kind of preschool program?(not that I think kids need just curious as if he was, was there any problems there?).

    Do you know he can do the things they are asking him to do?

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 12:18 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

  • When did he turn 5? If recently, maybe he should have waited until next year for Kindergarten?

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 12:19 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

  • Is he still 5? How about having him start Kindergarten again at 6 instead? He sounds like he is just not ready. It may just be that he is not mature enough for it right now. I started my Son in Kindergarten just before he turned 6 for no other reason than he just was not mature enough to start at 5. One year can make a huge difference at that age. I would take him out, send him for another year to a really good Preschool. He will get more individual attention & less kids in the class. He will learn how to do all the things you said he needs to plus he will get more time to learn how to socialize with other kids. send him for 2 or 3 days a week to Preschool again. This way he is not stressed or embarrassed, gets the attention he needs to adjust to a class setting & it is easier on YOU too! I know how hard it is to see a little one struggle. GL! :)

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:21 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

  • no he was not in preschool maybe I should have but I am a stay at home mom who has worked a few jobs here and there for a short period of time and what they are saying is true except the being tired part he is hyper active hence him being ADHD.

    Comment by n8nnickmom (original poster) at 12:21 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

  • He NEEDS Preschool!! There is your answer.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:23 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

  • I would pull him out and try again next year. It sounds like he is not ready for it. You can either put him in preschool or work with him at home. I would talk to him at the beginning of next year and get an IEP set up for him.

    Answer by kmath at 12:32 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

  • I am unsure what the disability service is exactly in relation to your son. Are they with him all day? Or just an hour or two. If it is the latter I would ask if he could go 1/2 day to K and also work with them.
    If I had to choose I would find out what the DS will do with him, but I am fairly sure that is the one I would choose. If I am not mistaken, it is there job to help him to be able to work through his behavior issues. If he can learn to sit (at least most of the time) and remain fairly quiet he can get something out of the teaching in the classroom. Until that point they may feel he is not able to focus enough on the studies. DS experience may be that being in the classroom situation will interfere with his initial work because there is too much to cope with at once.


    Answer by Dardenella at 12:43 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

  • Dardenella you are right I plan on having him do a half day starting next month but I have to talk to him about it, he is going to be upset because he loves kindergarten I want him to also get help fro him so I am going to try the disability service and see what they say if that doesn't work then I will try preschool for him. and next year he will have to do kindergarten again I am sure and I will get an IEP for him then.

    Comment by n8nnickmom (original poster) at 12:51 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

  • At least if you end up having to take the year with him in the disability service or PreK you have a whole school year to determine his strengths, weaknesses, and needs so that you can go in with the ability to advocate for what he needs in terms of IEP or whatever else.

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 12:53 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

  • My son has ADHD AND is on the autism spectrum and does not have an IEP. I don't think that is what he needs. My daughter is on an IEP for speech therapy.

    It really sounds like he's just NOT ready for a kindergarten setting. What is there to talk to him about? Just flat tell him, because of the way you're acting in the classroom, you're being switched to a half day class.

    Also, seriously consider having him repeat kindergarten next year too.

    I agree with bandgeek too. If he's a young 5, then you probably would have been better to have him wait and start kindergarten next year. My son is 10 today. He missed the cut off in my state by 6 weeks. He started kindergarten and a month later turned 6. He will always be one of the oldest in his class. It was one of the best things we did for him.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:01 PM on Oct. 15, 2013

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