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Adoptees and adoption fees. Were you an inexpensive, or high cost adoption?

3 adoptees in a room.

( Yes it sounds like the beginning of a joke.)

They are talking adoption. One is adopted from foster care.
The second adoptee is from a private adoption and the 3rd is an international adoptee.
The "fees" to adopt them vary by thousands of dollars.
The first adoptee was $200. The second, $18k. And the third $50k.
How do you walk away from that kind of conversation feeling good about yourself and your adoption?

How do the huge differences in fees make you feel?

Answer Question

Asked by adopteeme at 5:30 PM on Oct. 16, 2013 in Adoption

Level 16 (3,092 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • The reason for the prices being so different is that the adoptions are so different. An international adoption is going to cost more in just plain expenses then an in country adoption. Not only are there the fees for the adoption itself(which requires cooperation and red tape with a foriegn government) but the transportation of the child and chaperons etc.

    Foster care is typically a local adoption process not out of state etc. and there is no work that needs to be done in terms of the biological parents. where as a private adoption also factors in that.


    Answer by tntmom1027 at 5:36 PM on Oct. 16, 2013

  • So if you are baby born to biological parents who keep you, do you feel less if you are a home birth where your parents only paid a mid wife as opposed to a baby who is born in a hospital private suite etc????? I really don't think a monetary value should be placed on how a child arrives at their family....

    Answer by Nimue930 at 6:03 PM on Oct. 16, 2013

  • My daughter is adopting through the foster care program, fee was 0, as a matter of fact she is getting paid not only in money but in love......anyone who does private adoptions is contributing to human selling, there are so many babies waiting to find their forever homes in all states right here.....aside from all she has gotten the baby gets a 4 year tuition to any university of her choice, and 100% health care until she is 18, plus assistance with day care and any other extra activity the child wants.....

    Answer by older at 6:44 PM on Oct. 16, 2013

  • You have a point nimue930. Hospitalization, delivery & medical care costs can be from here to there on the billing statement.
    But, unless you count adoption as our second birth with issuing the amended bcert, the $$ is still an issue.

    Our AP's have free will to "shop" the method/procedure of our adoption.
    Should we feel good that our AP's were frugal and used coupons and shopped scratch and dent stores, or, should we be top of the line off the rack at Nordstrom's?

    I would and do take the $$ involved in transferring parental rights personally. The $$ in adoption is icky! Children shouldn't have a price tag on their head based on their desirability.

    Adoptees- how do you feel about the money?


    Comment by adopteeme (original poster) at 6:11 AM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • My brother just adopted through the foster care system. I don't know what the adoption fee was, if there was one, but he sure had a lot of legal fees anyway. And regardless of the price, the little boy who is now his son couldn't be more loved and wanted. I guess if a child finds a loving home, the rest to me seems pretty irrelevant.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:48 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • It has never come up. My conversations with other adoptees about their adoptions it wah never mentioned. This scenario has occurred where different types of adoption were part of the history, and conversation, but not cost. It was noted how long the adoptees lingered in foster care. My friend had a heart condition where she had to have surgeries. She was in foster care since birth. It was not until three she was adopted. It was due to her medical situation. We discussed finding birth families or not, relationships with our families (adoptive) and adoption in general. But truly never the costs. No one walked away feeling bad about themselves.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • I adopted, it was what could be considered a 'private adoption.' I had a foster child in my home and her mother became pregnant again and since she was trying to get back the kids she already had in foster care - she knew she could not care for this child. I wanted to adopt the sister that was already in our home, but the foster care system decided to move her to a home with one of her siblings. It was not an expensive adoption - all told, we paid about $2,000 in legal fees and court costs. In Alaska, if we adopted from the foster care system, we would have only had to pay filing fees.

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 12:44 AM on Feb. 9, 2014

  • What was your decision on this?

    Answer by m-avi at 12:21 PM on Feb. 22, 2015

  • M-avi I know how I feel about the money in adoption, but it looks like not many adoptees are on CM answers, or don't have an opinion.

    Comment by adopteeme (original poster) at 12:01 PM on Feb. 23, 2015

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