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my boyfriend is afraid

i am 11 weeks pregnant and me and my boyfriend already started talking about the delivery he says he doesnt want to be in the dlivey room what should i do?

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scared518

Asked by scared518 at 2:03 PM on Feb. 19, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (10)
  • honey, of course he's scared by it! honestly it's kinda gross if you aren't thinking about the miracle part of it :) you have a long way to go, chill out about discussing it now, enjoy being pregnant, he should come around... if he doesn't... well maybe he isn't man enough to be a dad and you might want to really think about your choices at that point...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • let him know that you really want him too be there with you and ask him too be and if things become too much for him he can always step in too the hall some guys just don't want too see their girl go threw all that pain also maybe have your mom or good friend with you too this way he isn't alone with you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Nothing. He doesnt have to be there. We made my son in law be in the room after he said he didnt want to be. We didnt know he was THAT squeezy about blood. He almost passed out and spent most of the time with his nose in the corner unable to handle it. Now my dd is pregnant again and since we KNOW how he is now, he is going to wait at home and I am going to be her coach. Talk to friends or family and see if they wont be in there with you. He can always come after the baby is born.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:06 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Kick him in the butt, tell him to suck it up, be a man. You didn't get pregnant by yourself and you shouldn't have to deliver by yourself!!
    Momma2beauties

    Answer by Momma2beauties at 2:06 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Having had deliveries with dad in room and dad not there, I can honestly tell you that I prefer dad not there. There is really not much they can do except get in the way and be a pain in the butt. If it's important to you, tell him so. Ask him what bothers him about the idea and if there is a way you can help him get over it. Good luck.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:28 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • My husband is scared from being in the delivery room with our first child, lol. Now I'm 36 1/2 weeks pregnant with our second and though he says he is going in to see her come into the world he also says he is not entirely enthused about the labor beforehand. I don't blame him though. Who wants to watch their wife go through so much pain without being able to do anything about it? I thought he was going to pass out while cutting the darn umbilical cord! Haha, I guess he also made the mistake of watching all of the afterbirth fall out after our son popped out last time around as well, which he was completely grossed-out by. He says he will not make that mistake this time around and is staying up next to my head like I told him to last time anyway, hahahaha! Men are different than women, that's all. Help him come around, you've still got plenty of time. Maybe when the baby feels more real to him he'll change his mind.
    MommyToSmeech

    Answer by MommyToSmeech at 2:39 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • nothign you can do if he doesnt want to be there why bend his arm to make him ? some guys dont want to some guys cant handle it just because he wont be in there during doesnt mean that as soon as you have the baby he wont be there
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • my husband was afraid that he would not be able to handle watching our daughter be born. We talked about it and decided that he would just stay right up by my head where he couldn't see anything. Turns out that he got so caught up in what was going on that the doctor had to push him out of the way lol. So give it awhile, not rush to decide, then talk about it and come to a solution that you are both comfortable with. DOn't be upset with him if he can't do it, labor and delivery are really intense so it doesn't make him any less of a man or boyfriend if he just doesn't think he can do it. Good luck and congratulations!
    hannahjoy17

    Answer by hannahjoy17 at 5:03 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • More than likely, he'll come around.

    If he thinks he might pass out, it might be better to have him wait outside.. lol.
    He might just be being a big baby about it though, and you shouldn't have to deal with the delivery without him, but you should also have someone there who is stronger than you and will support you through the whole ordeal. Just have a backup plan if he's still refusing by then.
    BatGirl1415

    Answer by BatGirl1415 at 5:18 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Sorry to say but my hubby wasn't there either time I delievered, and he is a damn good father and was completely ready to be a father. The second one was kinda of a mishap he was going to be in there but the nurse said it would be a few hours at least and it was only 30 minutes and he had to come home and put out our burn barrel.

    Just because he ain't in the room doesn't mean anything. Some guys just don't have the stomach for it. Give him time he might come around to the idea and if not be willing to forgive him for not being in there, as long as he is in there for the labor pains then it's fine, even if he goes out side the room or in the rooms bathroom once you begin delivery.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

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