I really just need to get this out, input is always welcome on how to express how I feel with out being mean because right now I want to hurt his feelings like he has hurt mine and I know that is not the way to handle this.
In the past sex has become non existent due to health issues, fine, I love him for much more than that. But in past week I have
1. rolled over to snuggle when I knew he was awake in the morning. He said he had to go to the restroom okay, I usually do when I wake up too but when he came out, he got dressed and left the room. Not a word, I literally cried ! Silly I know but it hit me wrong. I told him later he really hurt my feelings. He said sorry but his back was hurting. I let it go.
2. last night he came to bed and I said lets snuggle, he said with my cpap on or no? I said how about no incase we want to talk? He said, I better just put it on incase I fall asleep! Why the hell did he ask! I just got up out of bed and came down here and cried.
He says he loves me all the time, kisses me hello and goodbye but that is it. I don't know, I am just sad right now. Anyone else have this issue? If so how do you handle it?
***we both have the health issues, I had a condition that made me frail in comparison to who I used to be and I have a good bit of pain issues myself, and he can have sex but his body hurts, he has arthritis real bad and is on his feet all day so he is usually just completely worn by they time he gets in from work and in pain*** Definatley not a lack of able to get aroused, its truly physically impossible in other ways for both of us.
Asked by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Oct. 17, 2013 in Relationships
Answer by gdiamante at 7:22 PM on Oct. 18, 2013
Answer by NannyB. at 11:31 AM on Oct. 17, 2013
I think it's time to have a talk. You need to tell him how this all makes you feel and if he doesn't get it or still refuses to communicate then suggest marriage counseling. If he won't do that, then I would suggest reading the 5 languages of love. It's way too easy to let other daily tasks and responsibilities take over your life and then you find yourself not really remembering what brought you two together in the first place. Effective and respectful communication is key. When you talk to him, don't use 'you' statements, use 'I' statements. "I feel ABC" or "when I get in bed to cuddle, I feel like I am not a priority" or something to that effect. You statements will put him on the defense and discussion will go downhill fast. He likely isn't trying to make you feel that way, so giving him a chance to say what he feels without feeling blame will be more constructive.
Answer by QuinnMae at 11:13 AM on Oct. 17, 2013
Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:11 AM on Oct. 17, 2013
Answer by girlwithC at 12:07 PM on Oct. 17, 2013
Answer by girlwithC at 12:17 PM on Oct. 17, 2013
Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:20 PM on Oct. 17, 2013
Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:21 PM on Oct. 17, 2013
Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 12:34 PM on Oct. 17, 2013
Answer by m-avi at 11:41 AM on Oct. 17, 2013
Next question overall
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