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3 Bumps

I don't love my husband, but not sure what to do?

I have been with my husband since I was 15 we've had 3 kids together. So about 12 years ago I left him for someone else who I thought I loved but 2 months I went back to my husband thinking I was doing the right thing for our son. I have never stopped thinking about my ex, I haven't been happy in my marriage for about a year now, I honestly just don't love my husband, I've changed so much as far as who I am and what I want but its almost as though he refuses to change, he has a negative attitude about everything and I just feel miserable when I'm around him. I ran into my ex about 5 months ago and when I saw him my heart started to race I could barely breath and I almost burst into tears with the overwhelming emotion I had when I saw him, since then I can't stop thinking about him and the way I felt when I was with him, I don't know what to do?

Answer Question

Asked by 2late2bHappy at 4:26 PM on Oct. 17, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Seems pretty clear what you need to do. You either break up with someone you don't love, and maybe in the future you can both move on to be with people that you DO love, or you can say nothing and stay in a loveless marriage forever.

    Answer by kylie_bob at 4:48 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • your time line is conflicting

    you left DH 12 years ago but have only been unhappy about a year?

    Seems to me you if you left one you could leave again but remember, the grass is NOT always greener and how do you now you won't tire over this other guy?

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 4:49 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • Finish one relationship before thinking about another. Go to counseling if husband might agree. If not, you need to decide what is the best for you. BUT do not even think about another relationship before taking care of the one you are in. GL

    Answer by silverthreads at 4:52 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • You had a fling, of course it was exciting.
    He is not your ex he was a booty call.

    Now you want a little more excitement. This has nothing to do with love and everything to do with the area between your legs.
    What do you do? You keep them closed.
    If necessary you go to a counselor and figure this out but you do NOT jump from one unhappy place to another.
    If you can get DH to go , so much the better.
    Cheating hurts every one and you children do not deserve t.

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:57 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • You got together to early (15). Most people do not finish growing tell they are at least 25(mentally). If you are not happy. Divorce your DH.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:09 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • Quit lusting after the ex and invest all of your time and energy in your current marriage. Another relationship is just a different set of problems with a man that is not the father to your children.

    Answer by tasches at 5:31 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • "You got together to early (15). "

    I don't think that has much to do with it. I've known since 6th grade I was going to marry DH :P

    But I agree, she needs to leave him.

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 5:38 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • I've changed so much as far as who I am and what I want but its almost as though he refuses to change, he has a negative attitude about everything and I just feel miserable when I'm around him.

    It's likely he didn't expect you to change when you married him and now he finds himself married to someone he didn't know when he said his vows.  Why would you expect him to change?  Did you not love who he was when you met and when you got married?  I have to say, if my husband changed years into our marriage I would feel pretty negative about that.  I married the man I love and took him as he was.  We have grown together.  You can't do that when you are looking for attention outside of your marriage.  It sounds like you are done so just close this chapter before you begin a new book.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 5:56 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • U need to tell him what u really want u can't just keep leading him on

    Answer by Cynthia585 at 7:34 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • You are responsible for your own happiness. No man can do that for you. You can divorce your husband, and run to your lover, but I guarantee you that in 6 months you will be having the same problems as you are having right now. The reason?? You will have to take yourself with you. My advice: Stay where you are. Start to act loving and do loving things, even if you don't feel them. Think positive thoughts about your husband and your feelings will follow. There's no reason her to bust up a home and ruin the lives of 3 innocent children. And, oh by the way, I've been my husband's girl since I was 14. I am now 67, and it has not been a bed of roses for all of the time. You take the bad with the good and you keep on truckin'.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:36 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

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