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my 3 and a half year old daughter will just start screaming and crying for anything nothing help to stop her she gets worse when you talk to her

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Asked by carine24247 at 6:08 PM on Oct. 17, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • The Terrible 3's.....Basically try & re-direct her attention. If that doesn't work then ignore it. If she sees a rise out of you when she does it then that's her way of getting your attention. If it happens when you are out in public then you leave wherever you are. If she continues it then she stays home until she can act like a big girl & be good in public. That's what I did/do now. When my Son was that age, I just shopped at night when his Dad was home to watch him. I made him understand it was a privilege to go out with Mommy & Daddy & it was only going to happen if he behaved. My Daughter is 2 & hasn't started that behavior as of yet.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 6:18 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • When my 3 yo gets like that I put her in her room until she can calm down. When she finally does stop screaming we cuddle and talk about the right way to share toys/ask for something/etc.
    You can't reason with a mad 3 yo!

    Answer by missanc at 6:37 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • When my kids pulled that crap at home, I picked them up, plopped them in the middle of their rooms, and told them they could come out when they were calm again. If they tried throwing a tantrum while out in public I'd toss them over my shoulder, walk out of the store, and drive straight home. If they were still screaming when we got home they went straight to their rooms.

    My husband I both used to work in retail. You don't know HOW many people came in, shopped for hour(s), and left and their kid never stopped screaming. We will NOT inflict that behavior on the public.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 7:05 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • re-direct or ignore it.

    Answer by Crafty26 at 7:17 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • As hard as it is ignore it. Or, calmly tell her that you don't talk to kids who scream. If she wants to talk nicely or ask for something nicely you'll help her. When my son throws a tantrum I tell him this and it usually works. If not them I resort to ignoring him. Eventually he just goes on when he realizes he isn't getting a reaction.

    Answer by oneofeach26 at 7:52 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • Just grab her hand and escort her to her room. Tell her to stay there tell she calms down.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:05 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • What ever technique you use it will not work overnight, be very consistent and never give in. My kid started to whine a bit around that age so I would say sorry what was that I can't understand what your saying when you use that voice. Please use normal voices and I would ignore her or repeat that sentence until she spoke to me in a normal tone. Also be-careful how much sugar you give the child switch juice to water.


    Answer by pinkparcel at 8:38 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • thats a three year old for ya. we did the "if you're going to do that, go to your room till youre done" method and its worked really well. she's 5 now and when she gets upset she goes to her room, gets her frustrations out, and comes back and is good. they need to release the emotions they are going thru but dont understand and this allows that...but you dont have to deal with the pain in your ears :)

    we also would talk thru what had made her upset afterwards when she was calm. we felt it was important to let her know we cared about her feelings, we just couldnt deal with the yelling.

    Answer by okmanders at 9:39 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • Keep the talking to a minimum while the screaming and crying is happening, since she won't hear it or respond with a lic of sense anyway. Just remove her from the situation with no conversation, then when she's calm, discuss what upset her and how she can better express herself.

    Answer by Ballad at 10:43 PM on Oct. 17, 2013

  • My advice is, stay regulated, yourself. Notice how much her screaming agitates you, and bring attention to the fact that you actually are OK & can ride this out. It will help you not to escalate it simply through your resistance or irritability. Being aware of the irritation you do feel will help you not to reject her as much, or as automatically, which triggers her to struggle MORE, defensively.
    At that point, simply acknowledge what is going on. She is upset for some reason, something didn't go her way (she wanted something she couldn't have, she was stopped/prevented from doing something, she wanted blue not red, whatever.) No need to talk to her about WHY, or any type of reasoning or explaining. (Don't go there!) Instead, say something that acknowledges the upset or that things didn't go your way. Words like Yes, or I know, are the simplest form. Or state what happened ("You wanted it but Mom took it away," or "This isn't

    Answer by girlwithC at 7:43 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

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