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5 Bumps

Is this what i get to look forward to?

so the neighbor that i post about sometimes with the 5 kids, well one of her daughters turned 11 in may and started middle school this year. up until then, she was a pretty decent kid, still tried to talk and act like an adult but she was sweet atleast and still had some of her innocence. now she is talking 'ghetto' all the time. she'll say "what had happened was" and she was telling me yesterday that some girls were going to fight her best friend & she was going to hurt them, but that she's a nice person until someone makes her mad and then "her bad side 'gon come out", and there was a group of boys playing outside last night too and they put a lizard on her and she was screaming "what the fuck is that, get that shit off me" and she looked over at me, knowing my kids were outside and said with a shit eating grin on her face "my bad". i just had to roll my eyes. just a few months ago she was polite and respectful and now she thinks she's a little bad ass wannabe gangster. she was also telling me how she wants to get suspended and she's going to a new school & she'll probably be suspended in the first week.

did middle school change your kids like this too? i don't think i can tolerate my kids talking like they're ignorant on purpose.

Answer Question
 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 8:44 AM on Oct. 18, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • Middle school years were probably the hardest ones for my kids. Lots of bullying and meanness during those years from a LOT of the kids

    I think this sounds like a kid who really needs guidance now. Needs to know that her choices can affect her life, how other people can drag you down, about peer pressure and self respect and all those things. If she doesn't get all that then this could be the beginning of a very ugly road for her. I hope someone important to her notices what is going on and can help her navigate through these years
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:50 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • middle school was hard on me also. my best friend moved away, so i really just had like 1 or 2 good friends, i was really overweight, my hair was going through some weird phase where it didn't want to ever cooperate or look soft and pretty like all the other girls, and i was made fun of and bullied a lot. it really sucked. the thing is with this girl is she was already popular and smart, in 5th grade she was on patrol and usually making good choices. i'm honestly surprised that she succumbed to peer pressure and feeling like she has to act stupid to be 'cool' among her friends.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 8:55 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • I was a really good kid until middle school & then rebelled in high school so..........I think it's normal to an extent.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 9:13 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • I think middle schoolers have it rough. The kids (especially girls it seems) are just so confused as to how to act. They desperately want to be cool and they are well aware of the fact that they are not cute little elementary schoolers anymore and they are not independant high schoolers yet. They are called tweens , after all. They try on so many hats at this age, running all kinds of behavior up the flag pole, hoping to make themselves fit in and feel good.

    I think you have to help them by pointing out the bad and praising the good and not getting overly upset whenever possible. It is a trying age to say the least. They do change a lot at this age, as parent it can be somewhat shocking, but if you do it right they come out decent by the time they get to high school!
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 9:15 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • No. My dd is in 7th and ds is in 8th. My ds has matured a lot with very little problem. My dd has had more moodiness and emotional upheaval, but no huge change. Ghetto talk and cussing would not fly in my house and they know that. Kids generally live up to expectations - if you expect them to be cussing, talking back and breaking rules, chances are they will be. Set the bar high!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:17 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • My boys didn't act like that in middle school, there was some bullying though. Kids that age can be really rough. I do think that kids need extra guidance at that age, so they don't become thugs or bullies.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:18 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • Wow, that's a fast transformation. I hope to heck it's not normal. My DS is in 5th and will head off to middle school next year.


    How involved are her parents?  I guess I don't pay good enough attention in here.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:32 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • I remember one of my son's 6th grade teachers telling us on Back to School night that they love sixth graders because the come in sweet and eager to work, but by eighth grade the hormones have kicked in. And I saw it with mine; lots of eye rolling and defiance. No cussing, because he considers it to be the hallmark of stupidity.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:47 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • I don't know - we started homeschooling before my oldest was in middle school. He can get an attitude sometimes, but he doesn't do things like what you're describing here. Of course, I also wouldn't put up with that kind of crap, either. lol I have very little patience with people, kids or adults, who act like that. If you're really that stupid, fine, but if I know you have a brain in your head and you're acting like that, you're going to know exactly what I think of it.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:10 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

  • quinn- the mother is a single mother of 5, so she probably isn't able to pay as much attention to each of them as they might want or need. while i do defend her for that, i definitely think she could try a little harder to be more involved with them. and for all i know, the girl acts like this at school/outside but around her mom she might still be acting like a perfect little angel.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 10:19 AM on Oct. 18, 2013

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