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Distorted view...perhaps...???

I think that I am a sweet person but yet to have a real serious relationship. The last friend I always felt he was embarrassed to go anywhere with me-my opinion. Some have just been sex and that was fine because that is what I wanted ti. When I saw a guy I had been with for years immediately post pics if his new love it left me...some feeling left me (I dont know what). So my question is can I ever shake this feeling of never being good enough or pretty enough?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:57 AM on Oct. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Get a new hair style. Get a make over. Make changes to your wardrobe. Do ANYTHING that will give you that boost of self-confidence you seem to really need. Then maybe you won't feel the need to compare yourself to ONE girl, from ONE relationship that didn't work out. Most of us have plenty of those life lessons in our past. You have to find a way to learn from them & move forward. Finally, find a hobby that will put you out there among people who share your interests.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:53 AM on Oct. 19, 2013

  • Stop basing your self worth on MEN.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:38 PM on Oct. 19, 2013

  • Learn to love yourself as much as you would want someone else to before you open yourself to letting others love you. Don't compare yourself to other situations, even if they are with people you have been with. Sometimes the spark and strong feelings aren't there like they are with others. That's life and it's better to be happy for him finding someone he is head over heels for than to be jealous and want to still be in a mediocre just compatible relationship with you.


    Most of all, don't look for love.  Keep your options open and don't settle.  Sometimes we find love in the last place we would imagine.  

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:55 PM on Oct. 19, 2013

  • Part of coming to terms with how you're feeling (less than, not good enough, not pretty enough, not "enough" to inspire love, insecure & uncertain, not very worthy) is a matter of recognizing that, as mrsmom said, most of us have plenty of hard experiences as part of our personal histories. Or as QuinnMae said, "that's life." Not to minimize or discount the feelings, but to contextualize that it is a part of human experience for many people, to feel some self-doubt based on the reactions or non-reactions of others.
    If it hurts, that's because you put some priority on what others think, and whether or not they value you.
    Recognizing that you care, and that you think less of yourself if you don't get that affirmation, can help you to process the pain & self-doubt. When you SEE how you are valuing the opinions & judgments of others, you can begin to relate to that--to assess the conclusions you've drawn, & contextualize the pain.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:39 PM on Oct. 19, 2013

  • Someday, the love you want will come from inside of you, not from the outside based on what some man does or how he claims to feel about you at any given moment.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:03 PM on Oct. 19, 2013

  • normal I GUESS
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 11:48 PM on Oct. 19, 2013

  • confused

    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 11:49 PM on Oct. 19, 2013

  • Not that I am trying to shift blame but this self doubt has been a learned behavior from my mother. She definitly has self value-worth issues. I was stronger at one point in time. Not sure how her insecurities seeped over into me now. I did noticed that I reunited with my former friend I wasn't acting myself and what I got mad at him about wasn't something I normally would have cared about. I had the silliest doubts, I always knew he liked me and valued the time spent together, so for me to go all the way the out like I did was a huge sign that something else is going on. I don't put value in what men think of me. Sn: I think because I really liked the guy I wanted to open up deeper but was inexperienced, which lead to fear, that lead me to act in a way that would resemble my mother. I loved the ghy very much and just wanted more time with him.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:47 AM on Oct. 20, 2013

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