He's usually a kind-hearted kid, especially when it comes to his little sister. He gives her the loose change from his pocket to put in her piggy bank. He takes her to the park or out to get doughnuts at the gas station. He buys her toys and puzzles and things at the thrift store.
The problem comes in because his little sister adores him and tries to do things for him in return. Granted, they're not as awesome as what he does for her--she's five and he's seventeen. But this week, in preparation for his coming, she made him a colorful bead bracelet on fishing line. Not exactly a grand slam gift for a teenage boy, but she was excited because it had his favorite colors on it. He blew it off and tossed it on the coffee table. She was devastated. She saved him the personal-sized box of Honey Nut Cheerios, which he likes, from her cereal pack. He kind of mumbled "thanks" and tossed it on the counter. She saved him a Rollo, he said he didn't want it. Last time he went home, she cried because she'd drawn him a picture to hang on the wall in his room at his mom's house, and he didn't take it with him.
He's a good big brother. Better than many, I thinhk. I'm glad he loves her, actually glad he wants anything to do with her. Am I asking too much that I wish he would at least pretend to be excited by her little gifts and offerings of kindness? How can I encourage him to see what she does for him?
Answer by SleepingBeautee at 4:58 PM on Oct. 19, 2013
Answer by 3libras at 4:46 PM on Oct. 19, 2013
Answer by KTElite at 4:55 PM on Oct. 19, 2013
Answer by girlwithC at 4:47 PM on Oct. 19, 2013
Answer by KTElite at 4:50 PM on Oct. 19, 2013
Answer by QuinnMae at 5:15 PM on Oct. 19, 2013
Having a 19 year old son with Asperger's, I totally understand what you mean. I myself am hopeful one day I will hear my son say "I love you Mom" Haven't heard it yet. I like sleeping Beautee"s idea. Sit him down and teach him. Say, "Here is the proper response you give when someone gives you something."
One... Look the person in the eyes and say thank you for the gift.
Two... Find something(anything) you do like about the gift and tell the giver what that is.
Three... Tell the person that you appreciate their thoughtfulness.
I would also tell your daughter that her brother does like the things she does, but he has a hard time showing how he feels. Maybe they can come up with a signal. I used to tell my son, if he nodded after I told him I loved him, that would be his way to say I love you back.
Answer by musicmaker at 3:16 AM on Oct. 20, 2013
Answer by louise2 at 4:18 PM on Oct. 19, 2013
Answer by girlwithC at 4:39 PM on Oct. 19, 2013
Answer by KTElite at 4:42 PM on Oct. 19, 2013