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What's gonna happen now?

My ds12 has not been following directions here @ home he is flunking 2 subjects he is constantly picking on his sister dd10 we ask him to stop he'll stop for awhile but then there he goes again my dh puts the belt to him and hours later he is at it again...like he forgets or does things just to do it and not know why he does it....I don't what to think we have tried talking and asking if he understands he says yes but nothing changes :(
He does have ADHD and on Adderal but other than that he is a good normal kid.

Any tips ideas ladies I greatly appreciate it :)

Oh and what makes me sad is that my dh doesn't know what else to do so now he is basically ignoring the poor guy he says he doesn't want to see him (but yet he has to take him to early school practice tomorrow) it makes me sad bc this is our son and he's treating him like he is his stepson...I don't even act like this towards his older kids (21&19).
Help! THX!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Oct. 20, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (17)
  • I can't even answer this question for fear of getting booted!!!
    KTElite

    Answer by KTElite at 11:17 PM on Oct. 20, 2013

  • OK... so your DH is beating the kid and you haven't stepped in to stop it? What's wrong with you??
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:19 PM on Oct. 20, 2013

  • Stop letting your husband put the belt to him, first thing. If he has ADHD and is on medication, then he truly has trouble controlling his impulses, and punishing him physically wn't fix that. Are you sure he's on the right medication? The right dose? Does he have a place to go and calm down when he gets overstimulated? Does he have predictable routines? Help in school with the subjects he is failing? Does his little sister know how to walk away when he starts picking on her?
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:19 PM on Oct. 20, 2013

  • Siblings fussing at each other, really? Say it isn't so!
    He has learning difficulties, Is he getting the extra help needed for him to succeed in his classes or is he throwing a typical "I am the boss of me" snit?

    I doubt that a boy that age should have a belt used on him.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:20 PM on Oct. 20, 2013

  • Oh my goodness. ADHD is not managed just by giving him his adderall. Get into therapy to help him with impulse control. Be sure to let the therapist know that your DH hits him with a belt. Then let find out what happens next.

    *sidenote: As a stepmom who loves her SD like her own as so many of us do, I find your " it makes me sad bc this is our son and he's treating him like he is his stepson...I don't even act like this towards his older kids (21&19)" comment hugely offensive.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 11:26 PM on Oct. 20, 2013

  • *sidenote: As a stepmom who loves her SD like her own as so many of us do, I find your " it makes me sad bc this is our son and he's treating him like he is his stepson...I don't even act like this towards his older kids (21&19)" comment hugely offensive.

    Ohhhh thank you... I was thinking along the same lines here too!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:41 PM on Oct. 20, 2013

  • *sidenote: As a stepmom who loves her SD like her own as so many of us do, I find your " it makes me sad bc this is our son and he's treating him like he is his stepson...I don't even act like this towards his older kids (21&19)" comment hugely offensive.

    I'm not a stepmom but cringed when I read that too.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 4:00 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • SMFH @ putting the belt to him.
    GarysWife1991

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 5:43 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • What the?!

    12 is hard, is he organized? do you ask him if there is homework daily? have you talked to his school/ teachers to find out what is going on and how it can be fixed?

    hitting him with a BELT? NO. no no no no no nonononono NO
    NO child should be hit with a belt -for any reason EVER

    as for the fighting with his sister, NORMAL. Separate them when they fight
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:03 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • Someone needs to take a belt to your DH! Shame on both of you!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:27 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

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