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If your teens wanted to get married?

I saw this in one of my groups. If you got married young what would you do if your teen wanted to get married? I got married at 17 and it's been wonderful but I may be the exception. My 16 year old sd and her bf talk about marriage but I prefer that they live together, until they both finish their high school, have good jobs and can support themselves. Even though it has worked for me, I'd rather see teens wait before they tie the knot. Guess it makes me a hypocrite but wth.

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GarysWife1991

Asked by GarysWife1991 at 5:40 AM on Oct. 21, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 14 (1,463 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I was married at 20, which isn't a teen but I tell me kids all the time to wait until at least 25. No way would I allow my teen to get married or live together until they can do so without my consent. There are other things they need to be focused on at that time in their life.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 5:55 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • I disagree that this makes you a hypocrite. It just makes you the voice of experience ...

    I think that before you start on your "real world" life (moving out, living together, etc) you really, really need to finish your education first. Not doing so just makes it harder.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 6:43 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • Why did your parents allow you to marry before 18?
    My youngest, now 29. Wanted to marry some guy she went to high school with. I think she was 17. Was tempted to let her. But didn't, told her if they wanted to after she turned 18. Go ahead.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:41 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • Today I think the older the better because of the crappy economy. I would want my kids to Graduate & get a secure job before making any life long decisions. There is so much fun to have before marriage with kids. I want my kids to travel & enjoy every minute. I was married at 24 but did not have kids until I was 39. I worked full time & traveled A LOT with my DH. We spent & saved too. I am a better Mom now then if I had done it when I was younger. I especially would NOT want my children to marry before they at least graduated H.S. How could you really know what you want at that young age?
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:06 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • In my perfect world, no one would get married until they're at least 23 (after graduating college) & not have kids until at least 25.
    But, even that's no guarantee of success. I mean I got married at 27, had my 1st at 33 & got divorced at almost 37 so.....
    But still, I think people should have time on their own prior to marriage.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 9:12 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • I'm the child of teen parents, and I got married at 19.

    NO, I'd make them wait until they were old enough to make the decision legally, and I'd rather they waited until they were much older.

    Who you are changes so much from those high school years to your mid to late 20's. Biologically your brain isn't even done developing. There is a reason why teens can't vote, drink or sign legal contracts. They still have a lot of learning and growing to do.

    Marriage is hard enough when both people are older & hopefully more mature, Why do it too soon? And no, I wouldn't have let my underage teen move in with their girlfriend either. Once they're 18, they're responsible for their own decisions, then it's not our choice, but until then.....

    I agree that it's not hypocritcal. First of all, it was your parents who allowed you to get married, so it was their decision. Secondly, their our kids, we should give them our best learned advice.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:18 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • I can't think of one good reason to allow a minor to get married vs. making them wait until they're 18. I still think 18 is too young but obviously I wouldn't have a say at that point.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 9:42 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • I got married at 19, But we were together for 4 years, it wasn't like oh I met this guy last month we're getting married.
    They are16, they cannot get married without your permission, so wait until they are 18 and no longer need you permission, this gives them anther 2 years together to see how it goes. Even though I was married young, it is not for everyone and I wouldn't recommend it for everyone either.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 9:43 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • I suppose if there were a baby in the mix, I might mull over the idea of letting my teen get married. But otherwise, I think at least waiting till eighteen is a good idea, since sometimes the hot crazy passion gives way to common sense with the passing of time. I got married at twenty, and no one on the planet could have talked me out of it. Ten years later after my divorce, I lived on my own for the first time in my life, since I'd gone from my parents to my husband, with a few stops in college dorms and apartmens with school roommates along the way. I really treasured my personal space and freedom when I lived by myself, and I'd like to see my daughter and stepson experience that before they hook up with life partners. My stepdaughter, thank goodness, is being sensible about it. She got engaged young, but they're waiting till he gets out of the service and she finishes college.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 10:58 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

  • If my son wanted to get married young I probably would allow him to. And encourage them both to continue with their education. I also think I would financially support them.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:01 AM on Oct. 21, 2013

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