Maybe this is more of a vent than a question, but your ideas are appreciated anyway. My stepson had been saying he wanted more 'guy time' with his dad. So last week, in spite of the fact that he hadn't been doing well in school, the two of them went to the Bronco game by themselves and spent the whole day together. Then Friday night two days ago, my stepson came up for the weekend, and he and his dad sat down and watched some Stephen King movie after the little one went to bed. I happened to be in the room because I was working and that's where my desk is, but I wasn't paying attention to the movie or to their conversation. I made them some popcorn, and I got a "Thanks, do you want some, too?" from my boyfriend and a "Yuck, I don't want that, it smells like burnt cardboard." from my stepson. Fine, whatever.
The next day after Dad got off work, we were supposed to go to the corn maze, but it was closed. My stepson was furious with me because my text-to-speech software didn't pick up the big banner on the Web site that said there would be no maze due to unpredictable farming conditions, so we drove fifteen minutes out to where the maze would have been for nothing. I chalked his outrage at me up to his disappointment, there was nothing I could do about the fact that my screen reader skipped the banner as an image instead of saying it out loud as text. My five-year-old took the whole thing better than my stepson did. I just apologized to him for my mistake, and we went to Casa Bonita instead. No harm, no foul, I thought. But even after running around with the little one playing ten bucks worth of games--and yes, botof them had fun--he was still in a snit because he didn't get to go through the corn maze with his dad while I took my daughter to the kiddie farm activities. Well damn, maybe I have a big ass, but it's not quite wide enough to pull a corn maze out of!
Sunday afternoon, my stepson and my boyfriend watched the football game on TV. I was in the room working, and the five-year-old was watching the game off and on and playing with her toys. She and I live here, so we can't exactly disappear. My stepson was a royal grouch, but he wouldn't say why. Dad and the little one drove him home, I stayed behind working.
Well, this morning, we get up and find that the kid has posted on FB, for all the world to see, "I didn't get any guy time with my dad this weekend, as usual, damn it!"
Okay, I'm really trying to understand. The movie didn't count because I was in the same room? Even if I didn't bother them? It's a small house, where am I supposed to go? And Casa Bonita seemed fun enough for him. I paid for half of that. The football game didn't count, again, because I was in the room, and so was the five-year-old? We live here. What else am I supposed to do? I try to set up family fun, and my stepson gets to do stuff occasionally with just his dad like the football game last weekend or the drag races or the Kiss concert they went to. Sometimes they launch model rockets, but the five-year-old likes to tag along and watch.
I guess it shouldn't matter how I feel because it's all about the kids, but I'm feeling like a third wheel in my own house. I feel like I'm fine as long as I'm cooking the meals and shelling outthe cash but then I'm supposed to disappear and take the little one with me so the guys can have their time. And when I ask that my stepson help to clean up the unholy mess he and the little one left in the living room--yes, I made her pitch in as well--and he just shrugs and shakes his head, I'm supposed to be fine wit that because "he doesn't live here." His dad made him clean up, and that really turned me into the Wicked Witch of the West, by default I guess.
So am I overreacting? If so, how do I not feel hurt and used? And how do I make sure there's more "guy time" when my daughter and I live here, too? It's a small place, and we shouldn't have to vacate.
Answer by Nimue930 at 2:26 PM on Oct. 21, 2013
Answer by tessiedawg at 2:08 PM on Oct. 21, 2013
Answer by wendythewriter at 2:11 PM on Oct. 21, 2013
Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 2:02 PM on Oct. 21, 2013
Answer by QuinnMae at 2:53 PM on Oct. 21, 2013
Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Oct. 21, 2013
Answer by tessiedawg at 6:16 PM on Oct. 21, 2013
Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 2:03 PM on Oct. 21, 2013
Answer by charlotsomtimes at 2:09 PM on Oct. 21, 2013
Answer by 3libras at 2:13 PM on Oct. 21, 2013