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2 Bumps

Helping teens with loss

Today my husband would have been 25. He passed away last april
I'm raising his little brother who is 14.
Sammy didn't want to spend any part of today with the family (a few friends and family members came over for a dinner). He came home late and went straight to his room. I know he's upset but he has a really hard time asking for help and expressing himself.
should I go talk to him?
should I leave him alone?

Answer Question
 
AllyB_

Asked by AllyB_ at 1:30 AM on Oct. 22, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 9 (313 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Wow, your husband was so young! Can I ask how he passed away?

    Just check in with his little brother and say hi. Ask if he needs anything, but don't question him.

    Sorry for your loss. :(
    KTElite

    Answer by KTElite at 1:47 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • thank you. He was diagnosed with heart failure and while he was being treated for that in the hospital he was diagnosed with leukemia (they weren't related from what I understand, he just happened to have both)
    AllyB_

    Comment by AllyB_ (original poster) at 1:53 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • I would tell the brother you have an open door and offer him outside support (therapist) should he decide he needs it.
    I'm really sorry about your husband. I wish you peace.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:58 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • thank you for your kindness. Thankfully Sammy has a therapist, he's been going to her for almost a year. he really likes her too
    AllyB_

    Comment by AllyB_ (original poster) at 2:01 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • hugsSo sorry for your loss.  I'm glad to hear he has a therapist.  Can you speak to his therapist to get advice on how to deal with him? 

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:19 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • hugs

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:17 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • I would check on him but then leave him be. People grieve differently and some grieve best alone. My dad was 32 when he passed away and it took me years to work through.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:58 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • I'm sorry for your heartbreaking loss. I'd just pop in now and then and ask Sammy if he needs anything, but don't push him to come out if he's not ready to face people. Maybe the two of you can go for lunch or coffee, or visit the cemetery, alone later.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:01 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • mrsmom - yes I meet with her from time to time they're callled "parenting sessions" and we have our own stuff we talk about. she even lets me just vent about the troubles. shes a great lady
    AllyB_

    Comment by AllyB_ (original poster) at 5:31 AM on Oct. 23, 2013

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