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3 Bumps

How do I explain to our son that...?

Thor is 18YO and brain damaged. Sunday we found dad unconscious,he is now in the hospital on life support..Testing was done yesterday to determine brain activity/ brain damage(if any). When dad wakes up if he is not the same how do I explain to Thor? Dad may not be home for a long time,for now we are telling him dad is sick and needs sleep. he has seen dad and will touch him,he does not understand why dad is on so many machines. I have told Thor the machines are helping dad get better. Advice????

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Asked by RobinChristine at 9:51 AM on Oct. 22, 2013 in Special Needs

Level 24 (19,992 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I don't know that I would discuss it until you have a better idea of what to expect. Maybe just keep telling him that the machines are trying to help him get better and once he wakes up and you know more about any damage then speak in absolutes (like he won't be the same or specific to his level of impairment if he has any).

    This has to be so hard for you. I'm sorry you are going through this. Do you have a lot of support around you?

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:01 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • I would wait until you know the extent of the issue, then explain around whatever issues arise. My mother and my uncle both had significant damage from strokes, but the physical/verbal/mental impact on them was completely different. Keep telling him he's sick and he's sleeping for now, and when you get a prognosis, ask the neuro directly how to explain it in simple terms he'll understand - they'll probably be the best person to help you.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 10:14 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • Quinn I have a great church family, thanks for answering

    Comment by RobinChristine (original poster) at 10:14 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • I'm so sorry Robin.

    Address it as he questions it, I really don't know the right answer. :(

    Answer by KTElite at 10:20 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • Sorry for the hard times you are going through. I would just answer Thor's questions as simply as you can, without giving information you don't yet know. Tell him Grandpa fell and hit his head, and sometimes when you hurt your brain, it takes a long time to get better and your body doesn't ever work the same as it used to.

    Answer by Ballad at 10:36 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • So sorry your Dad is ill. Does your Son really have to know any details or go & see him. I think I would just make his life as regular as possible & see what the prognosis is. I wouldn't bring him to the Hospital either. IMO.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:46 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • its his dad Ballad, not grandpa

    Robin I am sorry ! I have no clue how to guide you on answers. I hope you find them and that a miracle will bring dad home whole again!

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 10:48 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • Oh, sorry I misread, is it your Husband or Dad that is sick?

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:57 AM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • To clarify,it is Thor's dad that is sick.
    For those of you saying let Thor ask questions,Thor is non verbal. He is brain damaged from multiple strokes.

    Comment by RobinChristine (original poster) at 12:24 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • its his dad Ballad, not grandpa

    Sorry, I guess I misunderstood. I thought it was Robin's dad, Thor's grandpa. In any case, I hope for a miracle.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:44 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

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