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I know it had to be done,but I still feel like crap

If you remember,my son had the stomach surgery (Nissen Fundoplication) on October 7th. He was so traumatized by the pain and not knowing why he was in the hospital.
He had a breakdown this morning. He has a follow up visit with the surgeon on November 7th. Just a quick look at the surgery sites,and a Q & A session. He thinks that we're returning to the hospital for more IV's and pain. :( I had to talk him down. He was so scared he was shaking and sweating.

Have you ever had to put your kids through something for their own good,and end up feeling like a villain?


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 12:20 PM on Oct. 22, 2013 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • Not as serious as yours.

    When my son was about 18mths he had to have an ekg and a an ultrasound of his heart(can't remember what that was called). He did fine for the Ekg but when it came time for the ultrasound no movie or candy could calm or distract him. We basically had to hold him down so that we could get good pictures of his heart. He had a heart murmur and was referred to the Pediatric cardiologist, turned out his heart is fine just a louder then average murmur.

    Felt horrible for having to hold him down during it but it needed to be done.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 12:51 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • Awe, poor little guy. I hope he gets over the fear :( How is he feeling besides the anxiety of the next visit?

    Can you say that you are going to do something special that he likes right after the visit. Maybe go for a treat like ice cream or a toy? If he knows you are going somewhere else right after the visit maybe he'll realize he's not staying there too long.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:02 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • Yes, but nothing as serious as this. I always try to prepare my kids for what I know is coming so they don't underestimate my words. If they are going to get a shot, I tell them it will sting. It's horrible to feel helpless like that though.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:25 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • Ugh, yeah, DS is now terrified of needles and I had to actually hold him down so he could get his contrast for his last MRI. He was so freaking scared and I felt like a shitheel for doing it to him. Unfortunately we had no choice as we had to check his skull and make sure it wasn't growing towards his brain in one spot.

    It sucks and I hate having to do stuff like that! I am sorry you guys are going through all this!

    Answer by kmath at 12:40 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • yes, now I wait until the day of to even tell her we are going anywhere.. Its so bad that when we hit the parking lot for her specialist appts that are in the hospital she freaks, starts crying and begging me not to let them hurt her or make her sleepy.

    I am sorry your son is so worked up :(

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 3:12 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • yes
    as Mom's we will always feel like that, it hurts, it is deep
    I don't blame your boy for being scared poor thing
    GL and stay strong

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 10:20 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • Ask him what he would like to take with him that would make him feel better. If he has a lovey or a blanket or some sort of something that he will be allowed to hold during the dr. visit, and he knows that ahead of time, it might help.

    Answer by May-20 at 3:02 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • So far thankfully nothing other than immunizations. I'm sorry for your son. I know it must be hard.

    Answer by 3libras at 12:25 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • not that this compares to the same degree of your scenario, but when my oldest was little i had to force her in the pool. when she was around 3 she was terrified of going past the steps even with her floaties on. everytime i tried to coax her off the steps and into the pool she screamed like she was drowning. finally i had to just pull her with me and let her realize on her own that with the floaties on she wasn't going to sink. she's loved the pool ever since, just turned 7 and swims like a little fishy (no floaties anymore)

    sorry that you & your son are going through this :(

    Answer by tnm786 at 12:26 PM on Oct. 22, 2013

  • Yes, more than once.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:54 PM on Oct. 22, 2013