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3 Bumps

Where do I go from here? 21 yr old dating a drug dealer.

My daughter was doing great..in college and getting good grades then all of a sudden started becoming distant. We tried to reach out but she kept getting farther and farther away. We found out through her good friend who she was with and what was happening in this guys home. He was selling perscription drugs and i was also told they were getting ahold of stollen credit cards. I went to her and she wouldnt listen to one thing i said. Later that week they broke up cause she said he was cheating on her. Yes..i was so relieved...but then she wouldnt come home. I asked her why, and she said she needed time away. I was okay with it cause I knew where she was and that she was safe but as I concerned mom, I checked her facebook. I noticed that she became friends with him once again on facebook. I asked her to unfriend him and she wont. Shes becoming mean and i know shes seeing him again. What do i do? Im so worried.

Answer Question
 
michelle91

Asked by michelle91 at 5:47 PM on Oct. 23, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Be there for her when she finally realizes he is not the best person to keep company with.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 5:48 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

  • Thank you...my last conversation with her was just that. I told her that i loved her so very much but i just dont understand why shes going after him again. I told her that she always had a home to come to. I miss her and worry about her so much.
    michelle91

    Comment by michelle91 (original poster) at 5:57 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

  • She is an adult. She can do what she wants. If you are paying for her schooling. That is the only thing you can do to her. Or threaten her with.  Stop seeing him, if you don't we wills stop paying for school.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:05 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

  • You know what he is doing is illegal. It seems obvious to me.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 6:07 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

  • The police do know whats happening over there, but nothing has been done. Im so worried that when he goes down, she will too.
    michelle91

    Comment by michelle91 (original poster) at 6:09 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

  • If she is involved in it the yes she might go down as well.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 6:24 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

  • let her sink then be there to love her but make her pick up her own pieces with guidance.
    luvmygrandgirl

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 6:34 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

  • There's a song that comes to mind, and I CAN'T remember the title, artist, or lyrics. I'm looking for it. It's a country song about a girl that runs off to New York, makes some poor choices, finally calls home and hears a voice recording that tells her she's still welcome home and loved.

    I know it's not Austin by Blake Shelton, but it's similar to that one.

    I'll link it as soon as I remember it. I think that's about all you can do: Let your daughter know she's loved and can always come home. Any more than that and you'll just drive a wedge between the two of you.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:42 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

  • It's so hard to sit and watch our adult children make horrible choices. I swear I think it's the hardest part about parenting, b/c they think they're grown & know it all & you can't really do anything about it, but sit back & watch the horror show. Like the others have said, just do what you've been doing. Reassure her of your love & willingness to let her come home. The rest is up to her. GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:47 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

  • FOUND IT!


    Chorus:


    It doesn't matter what you've done, I still love you
    It doesn't matter where you've been, you can still come home
    And honey if it's you, we've got a lot of making up to do
    And I can't hug you on the phone, so hurry home


    Song: Hurry Home by Jason Michael Carroll

    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:59 PM on Oct. 23, 2013

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