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My son is SUPER clingy after my bf and his daughter moved in

My sons father and I got back together. Our son is 6 and he has a 2 year old daughter with someone else. We all live together, so I understand my son being jealous because he used to have all my attention, all the time. But its starting to get out of hand. He is constantly next to me, sitting on me etc. He says I love you literally every 5 minutes, maybe he thinks I don't love him anymore.. but I ALWAYS say I love him more, every time. He is always picking on his sister, and when I discipline him he says no one cares about him. And I respond with "I will always care about you, and always love you no matter what you do". The past few times I dropped him off at the grandparents house or babysitter he has cried for mommy. I really try to give both kids equal attention, even sneaking in a few extra hugs or kisses for him, but I can't help the fact that I have to do more for the 2 year old (brush her teeth, dry her off after bath time, get her dressed etc)... now he's asking me to do those things for him too, even though he's been doing them by himself for a while now. I'm not really sure what to do, I want my son to be happy, and not have to feel this way. Suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Oct. 24, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • This is classic. It's like when you bring home a newborn. What you are doing is good but try explaining that a two year old has certain needs. Also, set aside private mom and son time, away from the other child. Do this regularly and reinforce that it's your "special" time. Keep up with this until the jealousy abates and it could take a while. Whatever you do, don't get mad at him. It could drive you nuts but remember he's little and needs to know he hasn't been replaced.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:20 PM on Oct. 24, 2013

  • Jeanclaudia has offered some great suggestions. Your son is just reacting to big changes in his little world. I'd actually be surprised if he wasn't clingy. Try to give him some special private time, but don't overdo it, either. Kids take their cues from the trusted adults in their lives, and sometimes if the grown-ups make a big deal of something with lots of gifts and explanations, the kids end up more stressed out than comforted.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:47 PM on Oct. 24, 2013

  • Besides having special time for just the 2 of you, how about some special guy time w/ his dad? Having his dad back in the picture full time is important too. Maybe that would help him adjust better & be a little less clingy. GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:42 AM on Oct. 25, 2013

  • I would keep sneaking a few extra kisses & hugs, however maybe a lil 1 on 1 time maybe reading time talk 2 him a lil more about the ne stituation. Hopefully the 1on 1will work, then start taking the both out just you out for ice cream and let the oldest brother take care of the little sister.
    raqie

    Answer by raqie at 12:09 PM on Oct. 25, 2013

  • That is normal, he is unsure of how to react - it is a big change for a kid. Try to reassure him, give him extra attention when you can and try to get a little Mommy and Son time and maybe some Daddy and Son time with his dad, too. Maybe explain to him that being an older brother is a privilege - that he gets to teach his little sister how to do all the "big kid" things. Don't saddle him with doing extra for his sister, but if you can get him interested in interacting with her and "helping" her, then it could make it easier.
    Tawneekitn

    Answer by Tawneekitn at 10:36 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

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