I'm still bitter about my pregnancy experience and I'm struggling to let go of the resentment. My experience:
I got pregnant at 22, going on 23, with my boyfriend of 5 years. I didn't accidentally get pregnant, I wanted a baby, and although it wasn't drawn out like a business plan, I was in a monogamous relationship and we had the resources to make it work. My DD is one year old and we HAVE made it work! BUT here's the thing: I have my BA in English and my mom's side of the fam is extremely ambitious, high-achieving and most of them are engineers. My older sister is an accountant and has an MBA and most people I knew at the time were planning on going to grad school. My sister's first words upon hearing I was pregnant were "Oh boy... that is big news!"
Not to mention, I was also raised Catholic, although I have not practiced in several years, my family was a little irksome of the idea of sex before marriage.
I think everyone felt slightly bad for me and just generally not proud or excited, even though it was a conscious decision I made.
Although I am more proud of myself than I've ever been, I never got to celebrate and be utterly joyful during my pregnancy, like others' seem to feel during theirs. I felt a lot of shame for my age as well. People are still under the impression your competence and performance as a mother has to do with age...HA! My friend's mother had her second child at 41 and gave him cold showers and used a belt as punishment!!
I went through pregnancy doubting myself, doubting my ability to be a good mother, feeling shameful for not getting a high paying job before even thinking twice about having kids...and worst of all, I fear I'll have trouble being happy for those that were hard on me when they get pregnant...although it would be big of me, it doesn't seem fair. Pregnancy is hard and terrifying enough so it should be celebrated by everyone you know and it should be an extremely positive experience to prepare you for the radical transformation of parenthood.
Enough ranting...What's your experience???
Asked by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Oct. 24, 2013 in General Parenting
Answer by Ballad at 12:30 AM on Oct. 25, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 12:39 AM on Oct. 25, 2013
Answer by girlwithC at 7:11 AM on Oct. 25, 2013
Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:34 AM on Oct. 25, 2013
Answer by 2autisticsmom at 8:37 AM on Oct. 25, 2013