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Friend vent...

So - LAST year, for the holiday season, I offered all my childcare clients free family portraits for the holidays because they had been so flexible with me over the previous year. This year, I have arranged all my daughters evening activities to well after 5:00, I circle around and drop childcare kids back off my house at 5:00 so the parents don't have to meet me down the street - I haven't needed or asked them to be flexible. I never miss a day of work.

My one client, and friend/neighbor, tells me that she's going to take me up on the offer to do the photography for her THIS year. I hinted that my schedule was pretty booked until Thanksgiving weekend. She declined last years offer. AND - since summer, she hasn't been very flexible. I had reviewed contracts in June and raised some prices. Hers stayed the same and she knew that. She used to pick up early on Wednesday's and Friday's and over the summer, continued to extend those hours until my "closing" time...even though when I didn't raise her rates in June, I considered that she did pick up early those two days. Now that school's back in session, she also drops off early - all this hour changing is an additional eight hours of week for childcare! Which I'm irritated at a business level.

On a friend level, I'm irritated because we always have neighborhood get togethers between a couple houses here. She never comes or she shows for a minute, but we're always expected to come to hers, kids birthday parties, too. We set up this wine tasting and a chick flick movie for tonight where everyone is to bring two bottles of wine. One to share and one for a trade (we'll put numbers in a hat and the person that draws #1, gets to choose the wine that they liked best, and take it home). She spoke to me on Wednesday and said she'd probably just come over for a bit with her own glass of wine. It's really missing the whole point of the party - because it was to get to try different wines, etc. She said she didn't have the money (which is always her excuse) - and I look at the other women that are coming, one is out of work, one is being bombarded with bills from her sons cancer treatment, one just had a major water pipe break in her front yard and me, I have three car payments and bills coming out the yin-yang. We all have bills.

Anyway. Just annoyed. It was something that we were doing for FUN - and wine's not that expensive. Ug.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Oct. 25, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • So stop allowing her to take advantage. What exactly are you at risk for losing?

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:23 AM on Oct. 25, 2013

  • The portrait, I think instead of telling her your schedule was tight, I'd have said "Oh, I'm sorry, I did that last year, but I'm not doing that this year."

    As for the wine, I'd give her that one, her budget is her own, and maybe if she is tight she doesn't want to spend what she has on wine.

    As for the rest, maybe she's not worth it.

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:32 AM on Oct. 25, 2013

  • Then for the wine - we're all going to be trading wine and whine - it's not like if she just showed up no one would offer her any. :/

    (And she spends PLENTY on BEER). :0

    I dunno. I guess it's hard to not be friendly with your neighbors...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:37 AM on Oct. 25, 2013

  • Time to stop giving her a break. Up her rates. Stop inviting her. If she ask why. Tell her because she never comes anyway.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:53 AM on Oct. 25, 2013

  • Next time you raise your rates, don't cut her a break.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2013

  • She's a fairweather friend - she'll take all she can (in the nicest possible way) and only pay lipservice in return. Don't cut her any more slack. She has no right to expect special treatment - she should pay the same rates as everyone else and be grateful that she has access to such great daycare.

    Answer by goldpandora at 12:28 PM on Oct. 25, 2013

  • So not reading that without seeing a question mark in there somewhere. Points!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 3:24 PM on Oct. 25, 2013

  • What?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:35 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

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