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Has cafemom helped?

Has cafemom and the discussions here helped you to better understand adoption from other triad member's perspectives? How so?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Feb. 19, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (19)
  • It's helped me understand as a non-triad member that adoption is a lot more complex then I would have ever imagined.

    Answer by miriamz at 3:09 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I've learned that lots of amoms think adoption is great and dont like to hear anything otherwise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • It has helped me understand perspectives from the same part of the triad I am in. We all do see things very differently. Yet we still all have some similarities.

    Answer by VanessaV at 3:27 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • It was initially very surprising for me to see all the negativity. I understand how birth moms could walk away feeling very broken though. I have come to understand better some of the moms that I was so offended by early on. I hope I have helped them see things a little differently too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • YES!!!! Having the opportunity to dialogue with other adoptees & birth moms has shown me that even when you are a specific member of the triad our experiences and viewpoints are varied and all valuable. Having the ability to dialogue with adoptive moms and prospective adoptive moms has not only provided me with the other vantage point but healed my mom (my adoptive moms) life tremendously. I have so much more hope for triad members because of what I've been exposed to on CafeMom. The struggles that were often handled in silence are now more out in the open and I look forward to hearing from the soon to be adult adoptees who experienced more open adoptions.

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 3:59 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Not really. Most of my understanding comes from reading birthmother blogs (so heartbreaking) and talking with people (from all parts of the triad) whove been involved in an adoption. (one being my husband).

    Answer by babycakes254 at 4:27 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • I don't think cafemom has HELPED, but I think it has brought a lot of different perspectives to my attention.

    Answer by IZs_mommy at 5:18 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Yes - Cafemom has helped. As an adoptive mom myself, my hopes were to come on here to learn all the information and how everyone feels about adoption. I think it is of great importance to my son to learn as much as I can on adoption. Honestly I thought I knew a lot, until I came here. From the birth mom's -their openess and sharing of their pure feelings has allowed me to really get a different prospective of how they feel. Of course I will never know how a birth mom feels but I have learned a lot from just the postings on Cafemom. Also reading some of the adoptees post have helped me to understand how one feels being adopted. It is wonderful to read all the different opinions and views and such heartfelt emotions - While I do see a lot of disagreeing and some negative comments- I think emotions run high on some topics of adoption. I am glad to have a place where I can get advice and true feelings from all triads.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 6:54 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • somewhat. The real way Cafemom has helped me is to provide me with a medium to work through my own grief and feelings. It's also given me an avenue to help out other people which has been really healing for me.


    Answer by onethentwins at 7:31 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

  • Yeah.. somewhat.. it has enabled me to talk freely about how I truley feel about placing my son up for adoption. I can't really out in the real world, people have a hard time understanding where I come from because they haven't walked even in inch in my shoes.

    Its comforting to know that I'm not alone in how I feel.. that has helped me.

    I have made a lot of friends.. which is always nice :)

    Answer by rainfalls at 9:28 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

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