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Moms of twins or VERY close together siblings....

is it ever OK to have a birds and bees talk as a group or does it need to be done individually? Now that my sons school computer accidentally showed 6-8 seconds of sex in a pop up ad we're getting lots of questions from him on topics we've not yet discussed before. (We've kept it tame and basic with names for bodily parts, functions, breastfeeding, and that's about it) His sister is only a year behind (7 and 8) and I ordered 2 good books from amazon and am ready to get it over with but my husband said HELL NO to group q and a session, one on one only. thoughts? oh... the school deferred the incident to the class as "ask your parents" so the sudden surge of questions is likely only temporary but hey it's probably time anyway

Answer Question

Asked by hibbingmom at 5:22 PM on Oct. 27, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 35 (71,876 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Id do it separate. A boy and a girl are going to have different focus, and different questions, and you need to tailor each talk to that...

    Answer by Nimue930 at 5:25 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

  • And yes, I have two boys very close together. They are currently 22 and 21. And I had their talks separate. I wanted them to be able to ask "dumb" questions without being teased by the other one.

    Answer by Nimue930 at 5:26 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

  • Do it separately. My mother did that to my brother and I (we are exactly a year apart). She set us down at the table with the encyclopedia. I was so embarrassed.


    Answer by m-avi at 5:33 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

  • Since they aren't the same sex I would definitely do it separately. They are each going to have very different questions and might be embarrassed to ask if the other is around.

    Answer by kmath at 5:46 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

  • Mine are 18 months apart and I did it together. Meaning, I answered their questions or corrected information they'd acquired incorrectly. In my house, my older boy cannot keep a secret or keep this kind of thing private. They share a room and the younger one hears/shares absolutely everything. I offered to talk it out separately but they didn't want to. This is the year of sex ed for my fifth grader. I'm pretty sure my fourth grader will hear it all too.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 5:47 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

  • If the daughter did not see this pop up sex thing. She does not need to be apart of this problem. But you should talk to them separately. different  sex's need different talks.


    Answer by louise2 at 5:56 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

  • Sex talk was always an open topic in our home. Our boys are 4 years apart.

    Answer by KTElite at 6:05 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

  • I agree, separate is better, even though it means twice the butterflies In your tummy.

    Answer by Ballad at 7:47 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

  • Separate. I have a 13 yo ds and a 12 yo dd. their questions/concerns were very different. What my dd wanted to talk about was very different from what my ds wanted to know. I also think they would have been less likely to ask as many questions in front of each other. If they were same sex, it might change my answer.

    Answer by missanc at 9:54 PM on Oct. 27, 2013

  • I have twins & a singleton 4 years older than them.

    It is an open topic in our household. I have had private or individual conversations with the different kids as well, but it is not something we have shied away from addressing openly/together, or that we've tried to segregate or individualize.

    I have talked openly to both twins together about reproduction from very early on, and I've talked openly to their older sister (answering questions, clarifying things) with them both in the room. Obviously, the process with my oldest began before the twins were born and she has had multiple "individual" conversations. But I don't make it a point to "get her alone" or keep certain information away from the other siblings. (Although I have addressed more details with my 9 year old than with my 5 year olds.)

    It really feels like natural sharing of information, not like a "Thing" or "The Talk." (Or even particularly "different" talks!)

    Answer by girlwithC at 2:33 PM on Oct. 29, 2013

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