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What do you do when your dd10 disrespects?

She's either sarcastic, has an attitude or is very sassy. At times she could be really sweet...:/

Thanks!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:20 AM on Oct. 28, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • let her know that she can roll her eyes or whatever (within reason of course- I mean if she's screaming and name calling or something, that is not okay) but she still has to do what was asked.

    If it is something worse than eye rolling or sighing or something of that nature, then she can go to her room until she's over it, OR lose some privelges- depending on how bad the behavior is
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:45 AM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • Remind her the importance of respect
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:57 AM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • When the attitude, sarcasm or sassiness happens, recognize what it is expressing (her feelings about things) and talk about that. Make space for those feelings, verbalize them by acknowledging what they are, and you will be modeling exactly how to express those same feelings without resorting to the behavior you don't like seeing!
    Consider it primitive communication. Realize that the feelings expressed are valid. (Examples: she feels bossed around, she doesn't like feeling ordered, she feels disrespected or taken for granted, she doesn't feel well understood or connected.) And then deal with those feelings constructively.
    It does create a challenge...honoring someone's feelings in response to a situation & responding to those feelings by engaging in collaborative problem-solving.
    Sometimes, all that's needed is listening & acknowledgment, genuine caring. No other "solutions." Or you may really need to build the relationship.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:42 AM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • How about something such as, "It sounds like you feel annoyed. Would you please try expressing that again in a more respectful way?" Sometimes that works. My daughter is only five, I can't say it will still work in five more years. I've also been known to walk out on a situation where I was being spoken to sarcastically or disrespectfully, but I still expected what I'd asked for to get done. Also, I've taken away privileges, but without lecturing a whole bunch, which is just tuned out anyway. Something like, "You made the choice to be rude to me, so you also made the choice not to go to Sophie's house and play. Maybe tomorrow you'll behave more politely and get another chance to visit your friend when I can trust you to use your manners."
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:00 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • Make her rephrase her words in a respectful manner. Do not tolerate disrespect from her b/c the teen years are just around the corner. Nip it now.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:07 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • Definitely make them repeat what they just said in a kind and respectful manner, and if they choose not to then they will be given a consequence. Like others have said teach them immediately that disrespect and rudeness will not be tolerated.
    ActiveHeidi

    Answer by ActiveHeidi at 1:04 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

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