I am the mom who posted about my 21 yr old dating a drug dealer. She came home yesterday and i had to watch her take her things out of her closet and our home. I stood there and cried. I just dont understand how she could be moving in with a drug dealer that was just in bed with her friend two weeks ago! She told me that she just dont know who she is anymore and needs time to figure things out in her head. I just dont understand why she cant come home and do that. She knows the police are watching him and Im very scared for her. Shes somewhere in there when i look at her but seems to not be able to find her way out. Shes the only chilld ive ever had and i know i have to let go..im trying but i know shes in trouble and its hard for me to get her off my mind. I think shes on drugs too. I held her in my arms yesterday and cried..i told her how much i loved her and that she always had a home...and if she needed any help for whatever shes into that i had to know what it was so i could help. She told me, I know mom...illl be ok. I know she wants to tell me something but still wont come out with it. Im holding my breath and trying to breathe...hardly sleeping.Answer Question
Answer by gdiamante at 9:30 AM on Oct. 28, 2013
You need counseling. A neutral party to help you sort your feelings out and make sense of how this changes your world. Also on how to not enable more of this behavior. It's okay to be there for your child, but you don't want to make it okay for her to continue making bad choices, and essentially be a part of that. Like giving her money. If she is living with a known drug dealer, then there is a very high likelihood that she is abusing drugs in some way. Giving her money just helps with that habit, so don't. Always remind her that you have a place for her, but make sure that she knows that with that offer comes responsibility for her.
I honestly don't have any idea of how to deal with something like this, but I think if it were me I would seek out a counselor that helps with this kind of thing.
Whatever you decide, best of luck to you.
Answer by QuinnMae at 9:34 AM on Oct. 28, 2013
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