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2 Bumps

Is a phone a good idea?

I have a13 year old daughter. We have been having trouble out of her for several years now. We have started family counseling. Her grades are up at the moment. She almost stays grounded. It doesn't seem to help though. My kids don't really have that many things to take away. When she is grounded she just reads, she loves to read though. She does it when she isn't grounded. So I was wondering if a phone would be a good idea? Maybe a reward for getting her grades up. Also something I can take away if they drop again.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Oct. 28, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (20)
  • So, you want to get her a phone so you can take it away from her? lol

    I don't know. Personally, I have no plans (at this point) for my kids to have a phone until they can drive, more than likely. And I wouldn't get them one just so I'd have something to take away from them. But you have to decide what works best for you and your family.

    If you feel you have nothing to take away as punishments, why not think of different ways to discipline? Maybe if she's grounded, she does tons of chores. Or if you or Dad own a business, she could do filing or office work.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 2:05 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • I just feel like I have tried about everything. She does all the chores, she doesn't mind. I make her take care of our dog, doesn't mind. She cooks, BTW sheloves doing that. I was just thinking of a way to reward her. Then also use it if it gets bad again. Kill 2 birds with one stone. I am just out of ideas.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:10 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • You need to pay more attention. There has to be SOMETHING she hates doing, or doesn't like doing. Someplace she hates being, something. She can't possibly enjoy everything. Watch carefully, and see if you don't notice indications that she doesn't like doing something.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 2:15 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • What is she doing that keeps her grounded non-stop? Especially since she does all the cooking, cleaning and caring for the dog? Maybe she stays grounded so she can get a break.

    Answer by Daigen at 2:16 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • Her grades and attitude. We have already determined that spankings don't help. Almost to think the same thing with grounding her. Just not sure what else to do.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:21 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • No spankings don't help. She's entirely too old for anything like that. Is she struggling with certain subjects and have you gotten tutoring help for her? And at her age a bad attitude is completely normal. She's learning how to be an adult. You say you're in counseling. What does the therapist suggest?

    Answer by Daigen at 2:23 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • She suggested pointing out to her evreytime she acts out. I did that, she looks at me like I'm crazy. I also tried recording her and playing it back to her after everything cools down. She said she still doesn'tseeanything wrong. Just been going to the counselor for a couple months. Wondering if maybe I need to change.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:28 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • Have you tried ignoring her?

    Answer by Daigen at 2:30 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • Yeah, that seems to be the worst of everything I have tried. I guess she thinks she can do it and just get away with it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:41 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

  • counseling takes time, and if it seems to be not doing ANY good- find a different counselor. There are good ones as well as not so good.

    what is she going for?

    13 is tough, she is trying to be her own person and is going to have some attitude-that's totally normal.

    as for getting a phone- eh...kind of a pricey and needless thing at that age in my opinion.
    Does she like to go to the mall? Does she have friends she hangs out with? Does she play video games or have tv shows she likes?
    those are all things you can take away.

    what is she doing that is SO bad that she's constantly grounded?!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 2:58 PM on Oct. 28, 2013

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