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2 Bumps

found sex conversation on my daughters cell . she is 12 and this boy is 15

he asked her questions about fingering her or wanting his penis. She replies whatever happens,. she ask questions about him jacking off. I took cell phone away before because of this boy. she is boy crazy, tries to act older. what to do? her father has divorced me and I have cancer. I just don't know what to do, my take her for counseling


Asked by amyj_58 at 5:47 AM on Oct. 29, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • Take the phone away and do not give it back. Cut off all avenues of communication between her and this boy, make sure she is supervised at all times. She is a child and not capable of making wise decisions, don't give her the opportunity to make foolish ones that will affect her the rest of her life.

    Answer by missanc at 11:36 AM on Oct. 29, 2013

  • How about taking the phone over to the parent's house and showing them, in front of the boy? I don't think she needs counseling, she needs some control over her, I would bring her father into this as well, divorced or not..
    I am sorry you have cancer, but perhaps you should try talking to her more about what is going on, she is most likely searching for attention that she isn't getting at home.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 9:03 AM on Oct. 29, 2013

  • It seems to me a 15 year old boy can get into trouble with a 12 year old girl. I'd take that phone to the police department and find out.

    Then, yes, I think some counseling is in order.

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:53 AM on Oct. 29, 2013

  • talk to her, and talk to her some more. Talk about respect for herself and from/ for others, talk about how she needs to be happy on her own, not because of boys, talk about consequenses of sex...Make sure you spend time together
    If it persists, then birth control should be in her future

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 7:55 AM on Oct. 29, 2013

  • Does she have a grandfather or an uncle who would be willing to spend some time with her and teach her how to be a lady. Girls her age really need a father figure in their lives, and she may be trying to fill that void. Also, get and read with her EVERY YOUNG WOMAN'S BATTLE. Don't give her phone back, and don't give her any opportunity to act on her fantasies. She is still just a little girl.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:06 AM on Oct. 29, 2013

  • I say the first thing is to put her on some form of BC you can control, like that shot one. Have another sex talk with her. 12 is not a good age to get pregnant.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:27 AM on Oct. 29, 2013

  • sounds like counseling might be good for her then

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:12 AM on Oct. 29, 2013

  • Look up the Statutory Rape laws for your state (linked here). In my state, if those two have sex he will go to jail for second degree rape of a child.

    All y'all need some professional help. She's trying to fill a void in her life, and doing it in all the wrong ways.


    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:30 AM on Oct. 29, 2013

  • Every Young Woman's Battle is an excellent book - my daughter's Bible class studied through it. Do you have a church family that can help you? She needs constant supervision so that she stays away from this boy. He is trouble wrapped up in hormones.

    And, yes, counseling for her and for your other children would be a great idea. They are coping with so much right now, as are you. Counseling could be good for you, too.

    Answer by May-20 at 12:31 PM on Oct. 29, 2013

  • Poor kid. She's had a lot to deal with in her young life, and she isn't choosing a particularly great way to deal with it. The first thing I would do is take that phone away for a long time, and make sure she doesn't have the freedom to go running around with that young hound dog who has sniffed her out. How are her older siblings handling the whole situation? Could one of them talk to her about self-respect? It might sink in, coming from a trusted older sibling instead of from Mom. What about hobbies, school activities, something to keep her busy and mixing with positive friends instead of horny older boys?

    Answer by Ballad at 1:47 PM on Oct. 29, 2013