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2 Bumps

I think im Gay...I dont know how to deal...or how to test myself

I am so confused.I have been with women before but never a full on relationship.I was married before and had 2 children and was very unhappy but couldn't figure out why.I meet someone else and he and I have been together for almost 3 years.We are engaged and I do love him very much but I dont feel in love.I dont want to have sex,kissing seems weird and he is just AMAZING to me but im unhappy and just mean.Im more attracted to women and kinda always have been....I just dont know what to do.Im so stressed over it...I love my SO sooo very much.Anyone else understand? words of advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Oct. 30, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • The sell gay tests next to the pregnancy tests.

    Seriously though, you might be bi. If you're unhappy, it could just be the wrong man. You're the only one who can figure out what's best for you.

    Answer by BeaverHouse at 2:47 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

  • LOL Beav! What I mean by test is do i tell my So and ask to be with a woman? What if this craving to be with one is just a phase? I dont know lol...He sure wouldnt mind but I am not one to cheat and it would feel like cheating.I also dont know how to tell him how i feel lately.He knows i like women.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:52 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

  • I guess that's something for the two of you to discuss. But if you're unhappy with him, I'm not sure that bringing a woman into the mix would make it any better. I'm just thinking it will make things even more complicated and everyone would end up with more hurt.

    Answer by BeaverHouse at 2:55 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

  • I'm not gay, I've had crushes on boys/men since I was in Kindergarten. I've always known I was straight. So, honestly, I think that if you think you may be gay, then you probably are. My best male friend is gay & he told me that he's known since was a child as well. It seems like you tried to deny it to others & yourself to fit in to cultural norms but, the truth was always there.

    Answer by 3libras at 2:55 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

  • If you are not attracted to this man and have no desire to have sex with him be honorable enough to tell him NOW. You do not need to screw up his life as well as your own.
    Then get some counseling and find out what you truly do want/ feel.

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:02 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

  • I agree with all the ladies above. If you are questioning your sexuality & the relationship then take a break & wait to get married if at all. I never felt this way. So there may be something to how you feel.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 3:07 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

  • Maybe you're bisexual. Not everyone fits into a the perfect-cookie cutter-2 kids-white picket fence-mold!
    Live your life according to what makes YOU happy, not what everyone's expectations of you are.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 3:09 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

  • Chances are you are bi, but if you make a commitment to this guy you are with, it isn't fair to act on your attraction to women, just as it would not be fair if you were attracted by another are not sure of anything so do not do anything drastic until you are...but eventually you will have to choose...good luck. If you were just gay, there would be no confusion at all.....

    Answer by older at 3:18 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

  • How did you feel when you had sex with a woman? If you loved it and don't like having sex with men, well there is your answer, it isn't anything to be ashamed of, but you need to break it off with this man, and explore some counseling and your sexuality.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 3:19 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

  • The best advice from me? Communicate these feelings with your SO and let him know that there may be an issue and that you may like to feel it out a little bit? I don't know, I'm no expert on this, but I've been bi my entire life, and with the particular person I'm with, he's used it to his advantage before, which really pisses me off because when I'm in a relationship, THEY are the only person I want to be with, nobody else.

    Answer by ShadeTheSpade at 3:25 PM on Oct. 30, 2013

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