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Does/Did your 4 year old listen well?

It is like I am not even talking out loud over here. She pays zero attention anymore, off in her own little crazy world. Busy with more important things and always TOO TIRED to do what I ask. Her words everytime I ask her to do something.

I need a library trip. I know way too much about babies and zip about 4 year olds.

Answer Question
 
staciandababy

Asked by staciandababy at 1:44 AM on Oct. 31, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 38 (101,185 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • My 4 yo gets real into his play but I make sure I have his attention and he's looking at me before I ask him to do something. Sometimes he'll say he doesn't want to do what I asked, but I tell him to do it anyway. If he chooses not to, he goes into timeout until he's ready to obey.
    I am sometimes willing to wait until he finishes his building, book, drawing, etc but that's a negotiation.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 5:58 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • OMG you just described my 5 year old. lol.

    I find that the couting to three method and a firm 'You need to look at me' before instructions helps some but the 'I' to *tired* thing... I have been telling her for a year now' Oh your too tired? Why don't we put you done for a nap and when you get up you can finish (whatever-usually something I asked her to clean or pick up) Sometimes she perks up and sometimes she goes and lays in her bed with the lights out. However if she chooses a nap she has to pay in her bed no less than 30 minutes. I know. I am evil.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 6:28 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • Well? Not really. Lol He tells me he is either too tired, too busy, or too scared. Timeouts have really started working for us.
    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 8:51 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • He listened better at 4 than he did at 3 and now at 5 he listens even a little bit better but oh there were/are days.....
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 9:44 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • And yeah the "look at me" thing really does help. Even if you have to get up in her face just to get her attention lol.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 9:46 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • Yep, mine is like that too! Sometimes I find myself saying, "What did I just say??" straight out of my mom's book, lol.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 9:58 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • LOL! My regular saying was "look me in the face when I talk to you!" Just so I would know he heard what I said. Now he says that to his little Sister! LOL!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:25 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • LOL, they still don't listen that great!
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 10:38 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • Yes, it's prudent to collect their attention when you want to interrupt something. Collect the child, and while you're at it, connect. It's just some acknowledgment for what they're doing, what they care about, some recognition of their "being."

    I think my 4 year olds listened well & were reliably responsive (yes, there were "days," and there were times when I wasn't respectful thus predictably setting up a more frustrating scenario, but overall they were reliably responsive to me) but that doesn't mean I barked orders at them & they "hopped to it."
    In general, I was not so attached to my expectations that I couldn't respond flexibly in the moment, and that helped things to unfold more positively, too (even when things didn't start off easy.) So rather than expecting them to "listen well," I was relating to them & responding to them where they were (whether they expressed opposition or easy cooperation), versus getting upset.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:08 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • For the most part, yes. There were times when both of mine didn't listen at 4. It's called selective hearing, it's a phase, and it's one of those ones that drives parents crazy.

    If she's "too tired" to do what you ask her to do, then she's "too tired" to keep playing and needs to go to bed. (wink, wink) This phase is another stunt kids pull to see what they can get away with.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:35 AM on Oct. 31, 2013

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