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What relationships get to be called Nana or Grammy?

My son and his ex-girlfriend had a baby girl. They found out she was pregnant after they broke up. The ex-girlfriend has a daughter by her ex-husband. It was decided early on that I would be Grandma/Grammy, and the ex-girlfriends mother hadn't decided. She's not real involved here. The baby is now nearly 9 months old and I'm hearing from my son that his ex girlfriend wants her ex-husbands mother to be called Nana.
She's a great lady and all. I like her. But isn't this awkward? She is NO relation to my granddaughter, but because she is grandmother to my granddaugher's half sister . . . she's to be called Nana? Not sure I'm ok with this. So I told my son, what will his Dad's wife think? Shouldn't she be 'Nana' before the ex's ex's mother? :-) and what's next, what to call his ex-girlfriend's ex-husband?


Asked by AJsGram at 4:57 PM on Oct. 31, 2013 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (21)
  • I really don't understand why so many people make a drama of this. Whoever wants to be Nana can be Nana and whoever wants to be Grammy can be Grammy, or Mamaw or Grams or whatever, and if there's more than one, you add your first or last name to it.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:06 PM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • I don't see the value in making an issue of this, either. It seems petty.

    Answer by SWasson at 5:10 PM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • who cares what the kid calls her, as long as she loves it?

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:05 PM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • So your granddaughter has a half sibling and this woman is *her* Nana? If I am understanding this right then this sounds completely normal to me. Blood related or not there will be a relationship there because she will be visiting with her with her sister. It would be more weird (to me) for one child to be calling her Nana and the other calling her by her first name. KWIM?

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:25 PM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • So having someone who is not 'blood' being called Nana, very personal to me, wrankled me at first - until you all helped me see through the 'pettiness' of my 'drama'.

    I look at it from this perspective - all of my son's grandparents are dead. Most were gone before he was born, so any grandparents a kid can get - let them have them.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 7:46 PM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • Whatever my grandchildren chose to call me was absolutely fine with me. They now call me just grandma. They had one Mimi and have one grandma (first name)....

    Answer by m-avi at 5:14 PM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • ALL of my grandma's are just that, Grandma. I have my real Grandmas and also a step grandma. They are all Grandma___________

    My sons and nephews do call my Dad Papa instead of Grandpa though, only because my oldest nephews were confused by having two grandpas so they called my dad papa, and now the rest of the grandbabies do too.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 5:22 PM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • Well thank the lord that someone didn't think we were bashing, and can understand that it isn't that big of deal,
    Where did you come from AJ"s Bangcock?

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:38 PM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • Not sure I get 2kids response... AJ'Bangcock?

    Bancock is where regular members are sent when the admin's slap their hands. Sometimes they come back, sometimes they have to make a new name.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 7:47 PM on Oct. 31, 2013

  • I find it a bit strange, yes. Frankly, my kids only call grandparents by grandparent names. Specifically, my parents, since my ex and his family choose to have no involvement. Had he chosen involvement, however, and he remarried or something, I would not want nor expect his new children to call my parents by a grandparent name, and I would be seriously pissed if they expected my kids to call his new wife's parents by grandparent names. To me, it's a title reserved for actual grandparents, as in the parents (or step-parents) of the grandchild's parents. My only exception is step-parents parents, when the bio parent isn't involved or when the step-parent has been around so long and thus the family has, that they are family to the kids, even if not biological.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:06 PM on Oct. 31, 2013