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How would you feel

So Im with my SO and we are at his sisters house. We are about to leave for a thirty minute drive to get my holloween costume. we get it, I put it on, and we are back at his sisters ready to go, except by the time we get back she doesnt want to go anymore. The plan was we were all going to a holloween costume party at the casino. I am not really big at going out at all, in fact I dont even drink, but I do make an effort since its whats everyones doing and whenever I dont go I feel like a let down and a party pooper.
Anyway, my costume is sort of out of wack because the elastic in the front broke so top keeps falling down. Well this made me awfully uncomfortable to go out in it, so I keep expressing how uncomfortable it is that I feel too hoochy to go out in public like this with my top keep coming down, not to mention the short dress. I did NOT want to wear it but he wanted to show his friends his beautiful girlfriend so I was doing it for him, dressing up and all. So on top of that I had really bad cramps last night. So I say that and SO just gets pissed. Not pissed that I had cramps, just annoyed that I was complainign I suppose. We get in the car to go but out of the blue he says he's dropping me off at home. I say ok I want my car then , so we go back and get my car. He was being very rude and just kept telling me to go, and he dares me to go out alone with the outfit on without him. I had no intentions, in fact I was already in my jeans excited to go home and take a shower and go to sleep.
Well he goes out and says he'll be back around 12:30. its 6:30 now and I havent heard a peep since.
This is our first holloween together so Im a little dissappointed but Im wondering if I did anything wrong or if he should have understanded my uncomfort a little more? He just didnt like my attitude because it wasnt gung-ho enough about the night. he got all dressed up as a pirate and put in a lot of effort, he said I was not putting in enough effort.
So I trust the dude, Im just upset that he's mad at me for something I could not control.
If I were in his shoes too I would atleast message my girlfriend hows shes doing and tell her that he's safe but I just dont get why hes so resentful that I wasn't equipped for the night,

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Nov. 1, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would think twice about the relationship, if it were me. It's nice that he wants to 'show you off', but you are a human - not a trophy. If he is this insensitive about you having cramps and not wanting to expose yourself too much to a bunch of people you are just meeting for the first time, then I would wonder what other expectations he has for you to meet.  

    That's how I would feel.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:18 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • I don't get why you are okay with him not coming home at all. You said this is your first halloween together, I think it might be my last halloween with him as well.
    You don't have to settle for anything, and he is showing his true colors by being a spoiled brat.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 10:20 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • He sounds like a bit of a wanker to me.

    Answer by BeaverHouse at 10:28 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • You need a new guy. This one is not marriage /father material and you both have a lot of growing up to do.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:49 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • PS- Learn to sew.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:50 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • It sounds like he was disappointed & didn't handle it well.
    That's understandable (and presumably it's where he's at) but it's not how I want things to go. i.e., it's not how I want us to handle our feelings of disappointment or frustration.
    It'd seem obvious to me that the goading & pressuring were happening because of his feelings & wishes, and it signaled that he was feeling lousy & upset. (He probably said he was dropping you off at home hoping that YOU'D say "No, no, let's go out, we'll have fun." Then when instead you said "OK" he tried to shift gears.) That's understandable but it's far from how I want to operate!
    Communicating later, I'd share that I feel sad about how things happened. That I'm guessing he felt disappointed & I care about that. That maybe he said X hoping I'd say Y, but it was too indirect, and that I hope he can make direct requests & share his upset feelings openly, even if it means risking conflict.

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:57 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • I don't know that I'd bother to communicate with him again, except to say stay outta my life. Sounds like a jerk.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:32 AM on Nov. 2, 2013

  • If you can believe it, I broke up with him 5 days later. Guess I couldnt hang

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:59 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

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