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Which is more common with micromanaging parents

Do they raise control obsessed kids who grow up to be micromanaging parents, or do they raise rebellious kids who grow up to be adults who give their kids freedom to grow and learn?

Mostly, I'm curious about where helicopter parents come from - were they groomed to be that way and don't know any other way? There does seem to be an inherent lack of common sense involved in it - you control everything a child does, the child never learns, if the parent had learned that this makes damaged people, they wouldn't do it. Is it just a perpetuating, generational thing that gets worse in each iteration as the child grows up as a less knowledgeable adult than their parent, who knew less than their parent, and so on?

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NotPanicking

Asked by NotPanicking at 10:33 AM on Nov. 1, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 51 (421,174 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I think micromanaging parents raise kids that don't know how to do anything for themselves because someone was always there to carry them over the finish line. That's why we have all of these 'adult-children' that are nowhere near prepared or willing to take care of themselves. Finding a balance is hard, especially with more than one child. Some kids need more direction than others, but in general I think with as busy as kids live these days it's more common for parents to direct every aspect of their lives. We have neighbors that we never see because they are always running their kids around to all of their sporting and extracurricular things. My kids play outside and make up games and are a little more 'free range' than most of their classmates.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:39 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • I don't consider myself a helicopter parent but, I'm more observant than my parents were, for sure. Could be simply because it's a different time or because I know of all the things I got away with. I have however seen the consequences of children being too sheltered while in college. Those kids were always the ones that went nuts and flunked out 1st semester because they didn't know what to do with all of their new found freedom.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 10:44 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • I read a study somewhere that parenting styles are a generational thing, and it's cyclical. I can't remember all the details, but the basic idea was that each generation will parent the opposite way their parents did. Idk how this would factor into the whole helicopter parent thing, but maybe it has something to do with latchkey kids not wanting their kids to grow up they way they did (having to do everything for themselves because no one was home to help them)?
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 10:47 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • my parents micromanaged, 2 of us rebelled and give our kids a chance to make their own mistakes and stand by them, hell we even enable them.

    the others are so far up their kids butts I am surprised the kids can move..
    luvmygrandgirl

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 11:19 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • i think the latter happens in most cases.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:23 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • Up until about 5 years ago, I was a "crazy" over protective, over managing mother, one day I just said what is the worst that can happen, if I don't (fill in the blank). I will say that my kids are much better off now because I chose to let them live outside of the bubble!
    I think most of the time you are going to have rebellious kids, who don't know how to fend for themselves, thus making the rebellion much worse for them!
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 11:24 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • I will not micromanage my kids. My parents did not raise me that way and I will not with them. My kids do not need a trophy, certificate, win costume parties, goody bags for showing up, etc. if they screw up in school because they didn't follow directions or they lose their recess for misconduct that is on them. If my daughter is caught using her iPod in school and it gets confiscated, the teacher can keep it until he or she sees got to return it. They need to be held accountable for all their actions and never have I given them the impression I will call the school, do their homework, etc. They are the ones who have to make a life of their own in this world. I can't do it for them. They have been taught early on that they are not the most special people in the room and everyone has to think that. I will guide them where needed and teach them right and wrong and responsibility and love them. They need to do their part too.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 11:44 AM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • ^^^^ Great answer Iz. I agree 100%!!!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:16 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • I can't answer about the children of helicoptery parents, but the most helicopter-y parent I know was raised by parents who had no limits whatsoever and were off in their own worlds.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 12:49 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • The can also raise very timid children who are afraid to venture out on their own or to fail.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:43 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

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