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i have a 21/2 son when he is angry he throws things, knocks things over, screams and cries

I live in an apartment police have be called by neighbors no abuse reports he yells no and tries to hit me I need help..i don't want to use spanking as a punshiment. if I take a toy away when do I give it back

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camir2

Asked by camir2 at 1:03 PM on Nov. 1, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Confinement with nothing to do.
    That is in a time out chair with no TV or anything at all to occupy him. You tell him that people do not act this way. If he hits you confine his hands and tell him NO. You may not hurt other people.
    If it continues hit him back, just hard enough to let him know it is not a nice thing and if he hits he can expect to get the consequences.
    I had a 5 year old that suddenly started to hit. I hit him back and told him that anyone that he hits has the right to hit him back. He hit harder and so did I. I told him that we could keep this up as long as he wanted but I can always hit harder.
    What you have is a bully in the making. It is up to you to make it clear that it is very unpleasant to be a bully.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:12 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • Put his behind in time out for 2 minutes and keep putting him back in until he stays there for 2 minutes.
    You say in a very quiet voice, do not hit, do not scream, and say that he is going to time out.
    You must take control of this or it will get worse, if you truly think something is wrong with him, take him to the doctor.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 1:25 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • What form of punishment do you give him to hold him accountable for his actions? If this is a sudden change in his behavior, call your Ped and ask them about this change. Does he spend time anywhere else (daycare or preschool)? If so, does he do the same thing when he is away from you? Does he only do this when he is not given what he wants, or is it out of the blue?
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:50 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • I put mine in their room (no toys) when they threw tantrums, until they calmed down. I told them when they were ready to play nicely/speak nicely/share toys/etc they could come out and try again. It was completely up to them how long that took - 2 minutes or 20. If you are consistent it doesn't take too long. If you see him starting to get upset, try to redirect him before he's at a hitting point, but don't try to reason with a toddler when he's upset, they lack that skill.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:57 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • He is a young child & he is frustrated. He has very limited tolerance for overwhelming emotions, and that is normal. If you can respond optimally to his "big feelings" & offer him containment for them (since he naturally & understandably can't contain them himself), he will develop emotional regulation & will become able to regulate himself internally. In order to develop this capacity, he needs support FOR his emotional experience. You becoming very upset by his big feelings & responding in negative ways (as if he is misbehaving) doesn't support this process.
    Remind yourself that it is normal for him to feel very upset when things don't go his way. It is normal for him to show his feelings authentically. (Why would he hide his reaction?) It is normal for him to struggle to change your mind--to make you listen so things go his way!
    And when you respond negatively to him, being disapproving or trying to stop him, it is normal
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 4:44 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • for him to get frustrated (resisting your resistance.) A highly frustrated toddler will resort to throwing things, knocking things over, and hitting if his crying & protests are punished as bad. "Acting out" his feelings through aggressive behavior is a sign that he "has" to take it to the next level because his crying/tantrum wasn't understood or heard.
    This doesn't mean "give him what he wants." You the parent have to decide what limits are reasonable, and be able to hold a reasonable or necessary limit, even if it upsets your child.
    But him being upset about facing a limit is not "wrong." Let him have his feelings! Show understanding for how upset he is! Rather than reasoning with him (explaining why you had to take the scissors, etc.) just acknowledge how MAD he is that mama took them away, and didn't give them back even when he screamed! He was having fun & mama took them. (Etc.)
    He's powerless & has to grieve that fact.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 4:45 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

  • That is typical. My son throws himself on the ground and crys ( in addition to thowing things to ).
    When he throws things, I make him pick them up, when he puts himself in the floor , I just pick him up and settle him down and ease his frustration , kiss him and tell him it is going to be alright.

    ~Cyn
    cynzbryte

    Answer by cynzbryte at 7:46 PM on Nov. 1, 2013

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