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Why won't my daughter's old bff leave her alone?

My daughter is 17. For the past few years, she was very friendly with a girl from town. Although the mom is a complete head case, I did my best to be friendly for my daughter's sake. For whatever reasons, my daughter decided that this girl was making her uncomfortable and decided to move away. She is an extremely confident, happy girl and moved onto a new group of friends. She does not think about or mention her old bff at all.
However, the old bff keeps talking about my daughter every chance she gets. Kids have even told my daughter that they think she is obsessed with her. To make matters worse, no matter who my daughter is hanging around with, this girl will start texting them constantly asking to hang out with them. She will even grab anyone my daughter is talking to physically and try to pull them away from her. Luckily, the girls realize what she is doing. Is this girl a stalker? The mom is mentally unstable....she was even fired from her teaching position at school for harrassing kids she thought were bothering her daughter. Should I be concerned?

 
SusanMaria

Asked by SusanMaria at 11:24 AM on Nov. 3, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Sounds like she taking after her mom. To me it is harassment.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:17 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Did your daughter ever talk to the other girl and let her know she was walking away from the friendship or did she just start ignoring her? I think your daughter needs to handle this because she's 17 and because it is something that she can learn from. One of the things she can learn is that after several years of being someone's best friend it is pretty cruel to just shut that person out with no discussion
    Daigen

    Answer by Daigen at 11:31 AM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • if my mom dabbled In my business the way half the moms on here do I would crawl in a hole and never come out. Let kids learn to handle their business or they will have no clue how to survive as adults. Goodness!
    luvmygrandgirl

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 11:32 AM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • At 17? I'd really think you should be butting out of your child's life. It sounds like you have the strings tied too tight.

    Who moves away just because they don't want to be friends with someone anymore.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:28 AM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • As long as this is the only thing going on I wouldn't worry too much, your daughter seems to be handling it well.

    If it escalates then I would do something more. You could mention it to the school but at this point I think that would do more harm(your daughter would most likely get embarrassed) then goo.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 11:29 AM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Amen luv!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:33 AM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Just have your child block the girl's number, if she reacts to the girl it is going to add fuel to the fire, you can't do much legal wise, I am sure this will work itself out in time.
    I assume your kid will go to college soon?
    There is nothing wrong with your kid just telling the girl, we have grown a part, it doesn't have to be dramatic, just have your child ignore her.
    I do think PP's are right, your daughter seems to have a handle on it, and the last thing she needs is for you to insert yourself into the mess.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 11:45 AM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Yes, you're right to be concerned. But there's nothing YOU can do beyond being concerned. Your daughter has to handle this.Although, physically pulling people away can be construed as assault and would have to be reported by the victims.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:48 AM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Wow....LOL....just concerned about htis girl's aggressive, obsessive behavior. I never get involved in my daughter's stuff. Just something she shared with me yesterday that I've been thinking about.. I foudn this site and figured I'd ask!
    BTW the reason she decided to stop being friendly with this girl is because the girl was being nasty and making her feel bad in front of other people. My daughter even tried to talk to her and ask her what was wrong. The girl told my daughter that she felt like she was changing and didn't feel like being friends with her anymore! So my daughter moved on.....but now this.
    No biggie.....thanks for your comments!
    SusanMaria

    Comment by SusanMaria (original poster) at 11:38 AM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Yes she will be off to college soon enough! And yes, this is her problem and she is handling it beautifully by ignoring her.
    When she first asked her BFF if everything was alright, the BFF said she felt she herself has changed - not my kid.
    Doesn't make sense, but my kid was okay with it even though she didn't understand what she did to offend her.
    I would never speak to the school or think about pressing charges unless she hurt my kid physically. I have never contacted the school about either of my kids because I would never want to embarass them. Just wondering if anyone of you guys have ever experienced this. It's like this girl doesn't want anything to do with my daughter, yet seems to be obsessing over her.
    SusanMaria

    Comment by SusanMaria (original poster) at 11:58 AM on Nov. 3, 2013