Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

My husband is upset I bought a vibrator... adult content

I went to a Pure Romance party last night and bought a toy. It is my first one. I've never wanted one, because they creep me out. This particular toy wasn't scary or creepy or large. So I bought it. I told my husband about it, and he flipped out. We have never used any sort of toy. We both watch porn and we both masturbate and it's been totally fine. He was saying isn't what we do enough for you? I enjoy our time together, I just thought it would be fun to have when we do anal since its hard for me to relax if we're not in the shower. I offered to just cancel my order, but he said to just keep it but he doesn't want to see it. We've been married for 4 years, and I didn't expect him to be thrilled, but I didn't expect him to be so upset! The toy is smaller than he is and isn't penis shaped at all :'( on top of that, i wont even have it for a a few months as it is on backorder... what do I do? I want to use it with him but now I worried ill have to hide it and use it in secret. Any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Nov. 3, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • my ex husband was like this...Its a double standard in my opinion, He may believe the comon misconception that toys can numb you in many cases it actually makes you more sensitive. Honestly i feel hes acting kinda all things good luck

    Answer by mamabeard3 at 1:50 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • I'd tell him he can watch if he wants but you're going to use it. You are allowed to please yourself alone. He's just being a dumb insecure man who is threatened that your vibrator might do a better job. He needs to get over it. He probably jerks off when you aren't around.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 1:50 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Your DH sounds insecure. As for advice, IDK I've never had this problem. My exs have been the type to go out & buy toys and, bring them home.

    Answer by 3libras at 1:52 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • That's odd since he's all for watching Porn with you & anal & everything.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:03 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Call them back and get one for him, too. He'll get over it.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 2:11 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Maybe having a talk about it before thinking it is something you both need

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:18 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • that's odd...
    especially, since he is okay with porn and whatnot.
    sounds insecure.

    maybe once he sees it- he will mellow out? or if you use it with him?

    not hubby is totally fine with toys- he has bought them too

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 2:29 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • He feels he is not enough. Get rid of it.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:48 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • I can not imagine why ou would tell hm. He probably feels that you think he is not enough. Maybe you can reassre him.

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:59 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

  • Would you want to be replaced by some kind of mechanical device? I wouldn't. So it isn't hard for me to understand why he is upset.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:31 PM on Nov. 3, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.