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2 Bumps

So extremely upset [long vent post] adult content

so basically, right now my parents are supporting me financially. i know it's pathetic and ridiculous but, my ex husband abused my child and i was a stay at home mom at the time so i was out of the job field for a long time. i did have a perfect job last year as a daycare teacher and i got free childcare but the place was dirty and i was spending more time in the doctor's offices for my children than actually working so i ended up quitting. ive tried several other things since.... an at home job but that required a quiet workspace and they only had evening availability and im a single mom of 3 kids so, yeah. i tried to start my own photography business but it hasn't gone anywhere yet. basically im fucked until my youngest (3 1/2) starts school. i checked into how much it would cost to put all 3 of them in daycare (youngest full time, extending my middle from pre-k to full days, and after school care for my 1st grader) and it would cost around $375 a week. i dont have a college degree and i haven't worked in a year so with my lack of skills i wouldn't be bringing home much more than that. now i could qualify for a free daycare voucher BUT i have to be working BEFORE they'll give it to me, they don't offer like a 30 day probation period or anything here. so i have honestly been applying for jobs but i havent heard back from any of them yet, i havent given up the search though.

anyway, today my oldest had an appointment for blood work. my dad came over to watch my younger two kids while i went. when i got back he told me i was a slob and he wants me to call DCF and find a house and move out (mind you he was acting like an asshole in front of my kids) so i asked him what happened and he said the dog shit on the floor. well he knows damn well that it happened ----AFTER---- i left because he was inside and there wasn't any shit on the floor. but yet it's MY fault that the dog shit on the floor while HE was in charge and i wasn't even here! so whatever, i ignored him and took the kids inside. well i could smell the shit as soon as i walked in the door. HE FUCKING LEFT IT THERE while 2 kids were running around.

idk what to do im at my wits end. i want to sell everything in this house and start over somewhere new. needless to say im never speaking to him again and im not sayign that to be dramatic. but this isnt the first time he's overreacted and blamed ME for something that was HIS fault and i'm done. all he does is make me feel like shit and drag me down and if i wanted to deal with dumb shit i'd never have divorced my asshole ex. i hate that i have to depend on him,.... i really fucking hate it and i dont know how to get myself out of this situation right now.

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tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 3:34 PM on Nov. 5, 2013 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
Answers (33)
  • So no child support ? That could pay for daycare?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:46 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

  • Is the dog his? Sounds to me like he just isn't used to hainf his home and he feels like it is being overrun? I'm sure your not a slob but he probably isn't used to having kids running around and dogs who aren't trained and then whb your gone he has to clean it (thus why he decided to be a stubborn jerk and leave it there)

    Do you have any friends or family that would take the dog? Maybe regaining the dogand talking to your dad about his frustrations will help ease some of the tension ?? Good luck and I hope it works out for u
    nnh_mama

    Answer by nnh_mama at 3:47 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

  • Go to the county clerk's office and get the paperwork to file for child support. Look for any kind of women's services or support groups in your area that can help to get you going. Apply for any aid available at the moment.

    Then, find some resources to help you make a solid plan to get out of your situation and make sure you can five your kids a decent life. It won't be easy, but you can do it. You need a real job, with real benefits. I'd start looking for another pre-school teacher day care situation if possible. That sounds ideal.

    Good luck mama.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 3:47 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

  • oops sorry i didn't explain, the house we live in is their old house and if everything isn't completely spotless when he comes over then i'm a lazy fucking bitch. it is my dog.

    child support- my oldest's dad doesn't pay and my ex husband is only ordered to pay $185 but he just lost his job so i doubt we're getting anything for while because he's a convicted felon (agg. assault against my 4 year old) so it wont be easy for him to get another job with that on his record.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 3:49 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

  • ..... he said you were a slob because the dog pottied in the house? There is more to the story. Is this his house? I sold everything I had of value a few months ago. It was not fun. Money needs to come steadily, selling your stuff only works once. Find an at home sitter and work nights, it is the holiday season all retailers are hiring.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:51 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

  • yeah it's his house, but they don't live here. but yeah that was the only reason he was upset (today anyway) was because the dog shit on the floor.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 3:52 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

  • Took me forever to type my post I have two kids crawling on me. If it is a free house keep it spotless. No one else is going to let you live rent free. Worth it.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:53 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

  • i actually did see a lot of positions hiring at macy's today when i was looking on craigslist.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 3:53 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

  • Let him cool down. Watching kids is stressful and no one likes poop on the floor.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:54 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

  • ok, next time ill make sure and telepathically clean up the dog shit when im not here while it occurs.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 3:54 PM on Nov. 5, 2013

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