I thought we had all the love we needed. But there was a lot of shit going on, on his end, including opiate abuse, losing his job, house and kids. I was getting the grunt of this, and so he lost his girlfriend too.
I was just wondering what you think of this situation, if you think I am weak for leaving, or strong because some women think I should have stood strong during his emotional abuse, and stick by my man since I said I would never leave him.
I on the other hand think that I should be free of this drama and ask him to come back to me when he is all better.
Also, the way in which it happened is appalling. I didn't even put too much thought into it, I didn't realize we were ending things at the moment, all I knew is that I was physically leaving. What happened was, he was a total jerk/used me for about 5 days after I just was living with him (he moved to his moms house since lost everything--I moved my whole life to move up there with him 9 hours north of our previous home). Anyway, we drove to see his kids but I did not feel safe, he was driving like a mad man, upset that his mom was accusing him of drug abuse...he was yelling at me and everyone around him for whatever reason. So, we get home after this long journey of seeing his kids (9 hours up, 9 hours back) and he leaves right when we get home. Its 10pm when we get home. I packed my shit in 10 minutes while he was out and left. I left in the middle of the night without saying bye just to drive another 9 hours to go HOME.
I'm sad obviously because I still love him, but I did what I did to be safe. Now Im wondering, even though Im not talking to him anymore (its been a week) I still want to sleep with his belongings such as his blanket, and I still look at his pictures and fantasize of him sexually. I have not acted on these impulses, but I do want to. Men even want me and I want nothing to do with them.
How could I have left the relationship better? Is it horrible what I did? Am I a quitter? Did I give up on him? Does he realize that I still love him? Did I hurt him insurmountably? Does he need me? Am I a total bitch? if you had a man who was treating you badly, would you up and leave, or say your piece and then go? Please be nice, thank you
Asked by Anonymous at 5:33 PM on Nov. 6, 2013 in Relationships
Answer by m-avi at 5:39 PM on Nov. 6, 2013
Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 5:56 PM on Nov. 6, 2013
You didn't do the wrong thing. You saw the warning signs and they were huge red flags. He is not someone you want to be in a relationship with. He obviously doesn't handle stress well and he was using you to take out his frustration. Be sad and grieve the end of the relationship, and then let go and move on.
Answer by QuinnMae at 5:59 PM on Nov. 6, 2013
Answer by louise2 at 6:12 PM on Nov. 6, 2013
Answer by staciandababy at 6:22 PM on Nov. 6, 2013
Answer by QuinnMae at 6:35 PM on Nov. 6, 2013
Answer by fiatpax at 7:11 PM on Nov. 6, 2013
Next question overall
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