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Once you break up with someone

is it ever a good idea to go back to that person even if its years later? or once broken always broken? we did no have trust issues. more like financial burdens and losing his kids..led to a little bit of abuse.
some people do it and their happy, other do it and same problems arise.
but how can you know if that persons changed or not...I want to be commited to this person who I just broke up with its very weird, and he wont know about it, but i love him so its easy to save myself for him. he is having an extremely hard time in life however at the moment so the relationship was bringing me down and i had to go. say a year passes, however, and we are both on a better track. would it be unwise to try things out again?
He is 30 and just moved in with his mom after quiting his job because his ex took the kids and dragged them across the state. The ex has been doing this to him for years, they do not have lawyers (dont ask me why-its none of my business anyway) so she just keeps getting newer better jobs and taking the kids. he kept following her for years but now hes fed up and quit his job and moved back home. i moved in with his moms as well, and everything but he started to get MEAN real mean to everyone and asking for money from everyone. I gave him hundreds if not thousands. Here I am just 24 though trying to put myself through college and im paying for this guys child support when i have my own financial burdens i have to deal with? Anyway, we both still love eachother A LOT we are not interested in any other person, or even dating for that matter. So my question to you is, do you think it would be unwise to consider dating him again in say a year or so, if not longer..however long it takes for him/us to get our shit together. I had a job and school, but I mean REALLY get our shit together such as he get his career back and I get my career started. He also has extremely bad credit and lots of this someone I want to think of having a future with just because i love them? hes still paying his exes bail...which i ended up paying sometimes which made me mad..i guess he's just not ready for a relationship? What do you think

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Nov. 7, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • not to mention he was trying to knock me up all the while when how the hell does he think he can pay for another child??? So I guess you could call him irresponsible..or unstable? Imagine if I stayed and got pregnant? Sheesh

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:10 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • It's a break up. Make it a clean break and run- do not walk- away from this loser.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 6:17 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • He has a lifetime of problems. You deserve better in your life, even if it means you will be alone.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:36 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • I do not go back if we broke up. Have to remember why you broke up and do not want to do that again.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:37 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • I didn't need to read this whole thing. I saw the word abuse and said, "NO WAY IN HELL."

    This person is DEAD to you. DEAD.

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:40 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • I also read "A little bit of abuse" and stopped.

    No, not okay.

    Answer by staciandababy at 7:44 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • Personally, I only have maybe one ex I would ever consider dating again, and that's only because our relationship ended before it got a chance due to a major misunderstanding - and I have absolutely no idea where that guy even is now. I don't go back to men I've managed to get out of my life. They're not worth it. I know other people do it, but I won't. And if I did, I still wouldn't do it if there had ever been abuse in the relationship.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:48 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • You were wise to walk away. It hurts, but you would not be wise to look back.

    Answer by Ballad at 8:22 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • You were very wise to walk away from him. Maybe if say in a year you both get your ducks in a row, then maybe consider it. I would suggest going very slow and treating it as a new relationship. But for now, I think you need to move on and allow the healing to begin.

    I'm not saying you should jump into bed with anyone or even date anyone else. I'm just saying that you need to consider this relationship over.

    I broke up with the guy I'm dating now about 2 yrs ago (we started dating originally late 2010). We were broken up for 2 months when we both realized that we didn't want to be with anyone else and that what we had was worth fighting for. It took a month, but we figured it all out, settled our differences and are a stronger couple as a result.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 9:07 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • No. If there was enough to make us break up, it would be enough to not get back together. Most people don't change very much.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:31 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

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