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After the breakup I wrote this to his mom...

Hello ___ I was simply concerned about____. My headaches have turned into migraines and I never get headaches. I wondered if they were sympathy pains. I wanted him to see a doctor. Anyway is he ok. Im putting it in Gods hands, love ___.

My mom checked it and she said it was fine but im just concerned about his health because he might do something stupid or crazy and hurt himself. What else ..he had migraines so bad when we were together that he blacked out and vomited even.

So does she know I still love him? Does it matter that I do? Does she hate me for leaving her son in the middle of the night without saying bye? Especialy when I said Id never leave his side?I had to, talking about it would have made it worse he was an abuser. Secondly am I out of line for asking if hes okay one week after break up? Could I have said anything better or different? Is it out of wack for me to mention that if we both get healthy there could be potential? And if she doesnt write back should I say I deserve that? Or not write back at all? Help

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Nov. 7, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • I wouldn't send anything.

    Answer by 3libras at 11:18 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • Are you the one dating the druggie?
    They probably weren't migraines, he was probably detoxing.
    MOVE ON.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:21 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • You walked out. Make a clean break of it. Do not send the letter. This woman is aware of her son's headaches I am sure.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:25 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • Yes he was the druggie and I already sent it. I am strong I can and will move on I am just worried he' ll drive off a cliff.I have nright to grieve

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:27 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • If he does drive off a cliff it is NOT YOUR FAULT.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:36 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • Grieve what? You were less important to him than drugs. You didn't matter. You didn't rate. If he drives himself off a cliff that's because of HIS BAD CHOICES, HIS POOR JUDGEMENT, AND HIS PROBLEM. NOT YOU. NOT YOUR ACTIONS, NOT YOUR CHOICES.
    Have some self esteem, and feel good for getting out of such a crappy situation!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:44 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • Thank you pattygal anne good perspective

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:47 PM on Nov. 7, 2013

  • I know what it's like to be a compassionate person and feel a sense of guilt, but PGA is right. Not your fault. Also, if you felt as if you were a part of his family I can understand a sense of guilt there too but you do not owe his mom anything. If she's going to understand why you left she doesn't need a letter describing it.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 12:02 AM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • As the mother of three adult sons, I would say you need to just cut ties, step away take care of yourself and your children. Hopefully his family will watch out for him, what he does though is ultimately up to him.

    Even if she understands, her loyalty will be with her son....or at least it should be, and hopefully she can be there to get him help.

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:56 AM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • How old are you two! Grown women do not send letters like that to grown mans Moms.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:33 AM on Nov. 8, 2013

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