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How do I get my husbands ex wife to quit trying to dictate what happens in our life?

His ex wife is always telling us what we are going to do (You will have the kids Christmas Eve) or what we should do (You should have all of your children present for the birth of your new child.). His children are young adults and instead of allowing him to decide what is best for us, she feels the need to put in her two cents. Please help, this is so frustrating especially now that we are having a baby next week. I hate to feel that I have to please her in our plans for our new son!

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Asked by snowfire442 at 12:19 PM on Nov. 8, 2013 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I love it when the "new wife" discovers her man isn't just "her man". Congratulations you have an entire family which includes the ex as long as HE has children with HER.

    Answer by m-avi at 12:21 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • She can yap all she wants, your issue is your husband is STILL listening to her!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:21 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • What Mavi said!

    Answer by DJDNY at 12:23 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • The issue YOU have is not that she is still trying to run his life but YOUR issue is that HE allows it. You married a man that has children with another woman and now have issues with it get over it or get divorced. If there is a custody agreement then that is what dictates when you have the kids nothing else. If HE does not want all the children present for the birth (and hopefully he makes that decision with you) then HE tells her so.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • I agree with Anon. The issue is that HE allows it. You said his children are young adults I'm assuming over 18. Why is he even discussing what goes on in your home with her? There is no longer a reason to tolerate that. You have a right to say what happens at your house and in your life....without her input, but HE needs to tell her that he appreciates her concern, and you two will discuss it and decide what works best for you.

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:32 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • She should have a say where their kids are involved, but the decisions you two make together are still up to you.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 12:44 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • Hahaha Guess what the ex is going to say whatever she wants. You can take it or leave it as your husband chooses (his kid, his ex)
    When they are grown and out of her house she MAY stop but even that is not a given. It depends on your ex.
    You have to take the whole package when you marry a man with kids and an ex.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:07 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • YOU cannot. THe ONLY person with the power to do this is your husband. If he has refused to do so thus far, then it's likely you will be living with this forever.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:42 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • The only person you have any power to control is yourself. I would venture to say that the more noise you make about this, the worse you can expect it to get.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:35 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

  • When it comes to the birth YOU are the only one that has a say so. Don't want any of the kids there all you have to do is tell the Dr/nurse's and they'll keep them out. Don't want DH same thing. That power all lies with you regardless of what she says.

    As far as the rest he will always have a history with her but that does not mean you have to do whatever she wants. Go by the divorce agreement as far as visitation unless you want to change it and don't let her push you around.

    Answer by baconbits at 4:02 PM on Nov. 8, 2013

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