Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Will the passion come back or is it gone for good because we have a baby?

My fiance and I are going on two years and our son will be a year at the end of this year. We are still in love, I know it but I hardly feel it or see it. He works from 9-5 while i stay at home with our son. Funny thing is i have the energy to "set the mood" but he'll be too tired or asleep before 10pm. Am i losing the touch? I don't understand... Please tell me this is normal OR are we heading for disaster? Where did the passion go? We were so good at it!

Answer Question
 
whyme12

Asked by whyme12 at 12:40 AM on Nov. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Truth? It will never be the same. You'll have to work much harder at your relationship now, but the passion depends on that.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 12:43 AM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • Exhaustion does many things to libido. Your son is only 1 and he may not be getting the sleep he needs even if you do get up every time the baby cries. When your son is older go on a vacation and let him just completely rest and the seduce him, making sure that he knows it will not end up with another baby.
    I am not saying he doesn't want one but if someone feels, subconsciously, that you want sex for the purpose of getting pregnant. It is a bit of a mood killer. Enjoy without that hanging over your heads and be surprised.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:52 AM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • Nope. It is gone.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:00 AM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • It wasn't for me Staci, so it may depend.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:14 AM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • I often ask myself this same question. Our situation is reversed though, my husband is always in the mood, and I never am. I had no libido, which happened after I got pregnant with our second. I was fine after our first, but then I got pregnant soon after and it all went downhill.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 1:44 AM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • It's normal to get into mommy mode.
    If you want things to change, BOTH of you need to be in the same page. If you're getting ready for sexy time, you need to tell him "tonight, 9:30, SEX. "
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:02 AM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • yes, but its different now. we had to schedule sex for the longest time just to fit it in. now that our kids are older (5 & 2.5) its a lot easier...you just have to make time for it and you have to talk to your SO about it. communication is vital to getting over this hump (pun totally intended :)).
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 2:12 AM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • The most important thing to know is that the passion won't come back on its own you have to MAKE it come back. And then you have to work to keep it.
    goldpandora

    Answer by goldpandora at 5:25 AM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • For me, it took 2-3 years for things to get back to "normal" for us. It is different because you still have to worry about little ones having a bad dream, walking into your room, etc but you can get it back. Talk to your husband and find out if he's on the same page with you. Make sure you are putting your baby down to sleep early enough that the two of you have time to connect in the evenings.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:12 AM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • You can get it back. Like others said it just takes more effort and gets easier as your Los get older. With my first it took over 6 months to even want nothing to do with romance/sex.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 2:02 PM on Nov. 9, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN