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how do i tell my mother our living arrangement isnt working?

I am 43 years old,married with 5 kids(2 grown & out of the house) recently my 65 yr old mother moved in with us. She constantly tried to tell our children "no" or tell them what to do even though we are sitting right there and tell her we will handle it. I have talked to her a couple times but she backs off for only a week or so then is back at it. my youngest child has behavioral issues and often reacts to being told no with hitting or biting. today she grabbed his face to pull him away from me & out of instant reaction I told her not to grab him like that & that I would handle him & I left the room. she retreated to her bedroom. I really need advice on how to tell her I think we would get along better if she lived in her own place.

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Asked by stressedmom180 at 7:46 PM on Nov. 9, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • you tell her that while you love her very much that you have different parenting styles and that having more people try to discipline causes too much stress and you would love to help her find a place close by.

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 7:50 PM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • Sit down with her, one on one, tell her you love her, but by her interfering it's causing stress with your relationship with her. Which you don't want.
    Ask her to please excuse herself if she feels she can't refrain from saying anything.
    If this continues, mom will have to move out to save your relationship with her.

    Answer by KTElite at 8:03 PM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • Well, think of it this way.... I am sure your mother is having issues with the arrangement as well. Just offer to help her find a new place to live, or another family member. The current arrangement is probably every bit as difficult for her as it is for you.

    Answer by m-avi at 8:04 PM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • "Hello mother.... our living arrangement isn't working!"

    Answer by Crafty26 at 8:48 PM on Nov. 9, 2013

  • I have had the conversation about letting us be the parents & her just being grandma but like I said she I guess feels like shes helping but shes not. I know shes not happy either but when I tried to approach the subject of moving she made a comment of things will be better once we find a bigger home which was originally the plan but last time we had a heated conversation of her butting out & letting us be parents I told her if she couldn't then this living situation would nit work. O guess with the holidays approaching I feel guilty. I dnt want her to feel unwanted. I love her but she does cause more stress.

    Comment by stressedmom180 (original poster) at 10:28 PM on Nov. 9, 2013

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