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Is there anything I can say that would be helpful to my son who has been turned down yet again?

He is so handsome and extremely smart, and his standards are high when it comes to who he might want to date. He doesn't like much in the way of popular culture, like pop music, or clothing fads. He's a very classy 15 year old. Plays and listens to jazz, is very into science and physics, and is a very good baseball player. Good heart. (yes, his room is a mess!)

He hasn't had much luck with the girls and I think it's starting to bother him..

He liked a girl in his class but she was dating someone else at the time, and when they finally broke up she apparently did not want to date my son. They are just friends.

He has liked girl who is a senior (he's a sophomore) for about a year, and finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she shot him down. Said she didn't know where he thought things would go, but that she didn't see anything romantic happening between them. She said she was glad they were close and doesn't want to make the friendship weird. She is quite pretty and popular, and I've been told is very self centered and "plays games".

Can't really tell him about that, but he was so upset over this last rejection that he cried and has been moping around for 2 days.

Normally stuff just rolls off his back, but not this time.

What can a mom say or do to help? Anything?



Answer Question
 
dflygirl7

Asked by dflygirl7 at 4:58 PM on Nov. 10, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (751 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • He's 15
    He should be focusing on school,sports,music,whatever. Not the girls
    He has plenty of time for all that
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:07 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

  • please stay out of it... this is for him to work thru, part of growing up
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 5:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

  • There's not much you can say at this point. Just be there for him if he decides he wants to talk to you about it, and then just listen to him. He'll find someone in time, and he's so young, he has plenty of time for girls later.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 5:29 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

  • stay out of it and tell him when it time it will ahppen
    luvmygrandgirl

    Answer by luvmygrandgirl at 5:38 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

  • It's hard to watch your kids go through that. I mean, why can't everyone see them as perfectly as we do, right?? LOL But all you can really do is a friendly hug, tell them, "I know it sucks" and let them work through it. If they want to talk about it, they will. Otherwise just a sympathetic hug is about all you can do, and all that would be welcomed... Hang in there...
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 6:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

  • Exactly, Nimue, that's true. I said exactly what you advised and gave him a pat on the back. It's part of life. Kinda glad he's not dating, but I understand his feelings, and disappointment. I was caught by surprise since he's such a tough cookie.
    dflygirl7

    Comment by dflygirl7 (original poster) at 7:11 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

  • Sounds to me like he's a shallow snob when it comes to his choices on who he wants to ask out on a date.

    If I were 15, and saw a guy like you describe I wouldn't want to date him either.

    Just asked my 10 and 6 year old if they'd like a kid like what you describe. They both said NO! I asked why and they said because they don't have anything in common with him and he sounds kind of mean.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 7:16 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

  • Be there to listen if he wants to talk. If you share any activities, like bowling etc, do that soon. Yes, it hurts big time.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:28 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

  • Lol I just asked my 9yr old if she would date a boy like this when she is dating age. Her reply "Yes I would but only for a couple of weeks,(snaps fingers) then off the list. I mean really who wants a serious boyfriend during those tough teenage years. Girls just want to have mom.
    What a kid but it makes sense shouldn't he be hanging out with many girls instead of pin pointing one out, casual dating is key. Having fun and then these things come naturally. When I was in high school I never went out with the boys from my school my rule was boys from other schools only. That way there was no rumours!
    pinkparcel

    Answer by pinkparcel at 7:33 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

  • And I just re-read his age. 16 was dating age in our house....no earlier.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 7:40 PM on Nov. 10, 2013

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