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2 Bumps

Respecting Your Elders

A friend of mine called me all upset after she got off work this morning. I couldn't blame her. She got accused of swiping a $300 cosmetics bag full of equally expensive war paint and crap off a luggage cart at a hotel where she does the night shift. She didn't do it; that woman would never steal anything. Later it was figured out on the video cameras who the actual thief was. Why the manager didn't go straight to the cameras is beyond me, but the guest apparently said it was my friend who did it, so the manager went with that first. So anyway, in my opinion, which is worth nothing of course, my friend's indignation is misplaced. She deserves an apology, which she won't get in a million years. She should be angry because she was falsely accused. But the reason she's having puppies and kittens is because she's forty years older than the guest who accused her and thirty years older than the manager who confronted her, and nobody in these younger generations respects their elders anymore, and what is this world coming to anyway!

So what gives? Now granted, when I was growing up, we all called adults Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So, and that seems to be fading in popularity. I still teach my daughter basic manners, and use them myself. But I generally try to respect everyone, no matter how young or old they are, till they prove to me by their words or actions that they prefer it otherwise. So what defines an elder? And what defines respect? In the above-mentioned case, I think, the manager was just doing her job, albeit in a backhanded way. And if the guest thought my friend had stolen her Coach cosmetics bag, respect would have had nothing to do with her reporting it.

 
Ballad

Asked by Ballad at 11:18 AM on Nov. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Respecting elders doesn't apply in the way she's expecting here. When you work under someone, it doesn't matter what age you are, they are your boss and you are their employee. The manager should have handled things differently, but it has nothing to do with not respecting elders. It's purely that she didn't handle things the way she should have. As far as the guest - sorry, if I suspect someone of a crime, I'm not going to worry about respecting an elder. I'm going to call them out on it. Of course, I wouldn't make an accusation without being certain, but reporting that someone has stolen something, or that you think they stole something, has nothing to do with respect.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:35 AM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • Respect is earned not given.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 2:26 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • Respecting elders doesn't apply in the way she's expecting here. When you work under someone, it doesn't matter what age you are, they are your boss and you are their employee.

    ^^^ Yeah.... this... 100%. This has NOTHING to do with her age!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:46 AM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • I was parked waiting for my mom and seen a younger than me boy push an older man (my moms friends father who has dementia ) against his house. Man I flew out of my car, I told the boy I would call the police if he didn't leave. Screamed a few curse words. I wanted to punch this boy, I couldn't believe it. When I got into the car I almost cried I was so upset it's really disgusting.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 12:36 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • "I don't know why my friend has clamped down on this "respect for elders" thing as the bit she's freaking out over, but I couldn't get her off it. "

    Tell her that if she intends any further action about this she needs to STOP focusing on the age, because no judge or jury or arbitrator is going to give a damn about her age. Blathering on about the age just makes her sound like she doesn't see the forest for the trees.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:16 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • The manager should have handled things far better then he did. He should have taken the complaint and said the hotel would check into it right away. Then he should have went to the video. Once he found out the truth he should have in turn let the lady know what had happened and how he responded. Although the lady accused your friend it was the managers job to keep the lady happy while not accusing anyone until he had the facts. Then he should have turned everything over to the police and let them finish it out to the woman's satisfaction.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 11:27 AM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • I agree with you. Respect for your employee and guest would demand you look at the tape. Your friend could have been arrested and/ or lost her job. The culprit would have gotten away. (I am curious who the culprit was, now)
    In a situation like this, age has nothing to do with it. If you are a thief you should be given the same treatment no matter your age.
    I have luckily never had anything go missing in a hotel. I usually take at least on nice necklace and the camera (DH's baby). I would have a fit if they were stolen.

    The manager owes her an apology and if I were your friend I would go to HR and report the incident and make sure there was not even a hint of wrong doing in my file.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:43 AM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • This is awful, no question about it and I'm sorry for your friend and the way the tide is turning. I'm just gonna say it, human beings can be disgusting. Any store owner of any kind, including a CEO of companies, knows that employees steal. It's a sad fact that they calculate into their business equation "shrinkage." You've seen in a natural disaster or any riot where police stand to the side while average citizens vandalize and steal because the opportunity presented.

    The manners thing is vital and yet a lost art. I notice when I have kids over to play. Not to knock the kids but what are these parents doing? Working two jobs and are too tired or lazy. Society isn't built on honesty like the good old days when it was better...and was it better? I don't know. In the case of your friend, she is a victim of circumstance and ignorant managers. Hopefully karma will come around.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 12:00 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • In this case it really isn't about respecting someone older than you.
    Yesterday my SIL went on a rant against my dad about the Zimmerman/Martin case, she should have just zipped her lip, and stopped arguing with a 80 year old man, but she kept on, and on, until my brother spoke up and told her to put a sock in it.
    I think respecting your elders should happen more often, but not in the case of being accused unfairly.
    2kids2dogs2cats

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 2:50 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • Could be that your friend has been on the receiving end from employees younger then her. That what they think is funny at work she thinks is wrong and they pick on her because of it. They may be making fun of her "old fashioned" values which a lot of the young people growing up have never learned.

    I wish your friend the best of luck.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 2:53 PM on Nov. 11, 2013