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Why do women do this to themselves?

I just saw a news story, with link, on another website for a different website devoted to "exposing the other woman". So, basically, the wife or girlfriend who was cheated on goes to this site posts pics of the other woman, tells a lengthy (usually cursing and name-calling more than actually telling the story), and even gives out the other woman's personal information. I understand the hurt involved with being betrayed like that. And, I very much understand wanting justice, or karma, or whatever you want to call it. But I have a few questions that I can't seem to get over...

1. Why do women always want to focus their anger on the mistress? Wasn't the man the one who took the vows and made the promises? Shouldn't he be held responsible for his actions even more so than a woman, many times that the wife/girlfriend has never met and has made no commitments to? And, yet, most of the time women not only DON'T blame their husband/bf, they take them back OVER AND OVER AND OVER?

2. Don't these women understand that while their pain and anger is justified, their actions make them no better than the woman they're trying to put down? Most of these woman end up looking like bigger piles of trash than the home wrecker does just from the language and classlessness they use on the site.

and 3rd, and probably most importantly, do these women stop to realize that if the "other woman" finds this sight, and sees her picture and story posted for the world to see she has grounds for a lawsuit against them? Is it really worth all that?

The one thing I learned the easy way was that the other woman did me a favor. He was the scumbag, and she got stuck with him. I don't hate her or wish her any harm. If anything I pity her. And holding onto the anger, or stalking them, or posting pictures and stories years later on different websites will do nothing but keep me in the hole he tried to put me in in the first place...and I'll be damned if I'd waste anymore of my time on him, no less her.

Why do so many women not get it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Nov. 11, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Hey, I agree with you.

    Answer by 3libras at 12:41 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • Personally the site should be for the cheating spouses. They are the ones who broke the marriage vows not the other love interest, who may or may not know cheater is married.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:43 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • It just validates their stupidity.

    Answer by m-avi at 12:51 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • I never blamed the other woman completely. I always felt she had some responsibility, because regardless of what they say, it's pretty easy to figure out a guy is married. But I always laid the majority of the blame on my ex-husband. He was the one who'd married me, who'd promised to be faithful to me, and he was the one who deliberately ignored those promises and slept with someone else. The funny thing is that he thinks I'm still pissed at him for that, when the truth is that I'm pissed at him for being a sh*tty father and owing over $25K in child support. He thinks way too much of himself.

    And I would never go on some site and trash the other woman. Him, maybe - but only to prevent some other woman from having a kid with him and being stuck in the same boat.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:01 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • Honestly I think women blame other women because we THINK we should always have each other's backs... girl power and all that crap.
    They expect men to be dogs, but they think another woman should do right by them.

    It takes two to tango. She didn't make him cheat, she didn't hold him hostage.
    His actions were wrong and they were HIS and HIS ALONE!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:08 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • So sad either way. Cheating is hurtful all around.

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:45 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • It is easier to believe that Jessica Rabbit came down and put a spell on their man, rather than having picked a loser.

    Answer by 2kids2dogs2cats at 2:52 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • I already posted about this.


    Answer by louise2 at 2:54 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • oh, sorry louise... I didnt notice

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:05 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • Blaming the partner doesn't give the other woman a free pass. Any more than punishing your child for breaking the rules absolves the sibling who told him to do it. It's one thing if someone doesn't know the other person is married, but to knowingly fuck someone who has a spouse (and especially children) thinking it's not your fault or not your problem is indicative of a person completely lacking in human empathy - putting their 5 minutes of physical pleasure ahead of the emotional well being of other people. If it's really "true love" (yeah right), it will wait until the married one is single again. In the meantime, buy a vibrator.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:50 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

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