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He wants to be a family

So my youngest daughters father wants to get back together with me. We were together for 3 yrs and he was a good dad to my daughter from a previous relationship. We've been spectate for almost 2 yrs.(no we didn't get married).anyway here's my issue he slept with someone that one I extremely dislike! And says try fell in love. 2 they're 2nd cousins....He says hell do anything to be with me again. And he has actually been changing things about him. But idk if I could ever be with him again ... Idk if I love him like I use to or even could . I know we didn't have a perfect relationship before but should I even give him a chance? Would you?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Nov. 11, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Is this the one (cousin) who also is a minor?
    And this guy was pretty sure he was getting in trouble? (when he was called in for questioning)

    If that's the same story, it's likely that he was feeling scared & desperate, and at a very very low point, which understandably would motivate or prompt his wish to build something with you again. I'm sure he feels sincere and genuinely wants to try, make improvements, etc.

    I recommend you look at the whole picture, and really reflect on what it seems reasonable to hope for or expect.

    I don't think you have to hold someone's mistakes against them forever, but I think it makes good sense to see what is "fueling" their efforts to change, and how well they understand the personal/emotional dysfunction that led to those situations, and whether anything inside is actually different. Change is more about resolving underlying emotional issues than about good intentions or will power.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:40 AM on Nov. 14, 2013

  • An EX is an EX for a reason. If it didn't work the first time it's not likely to work a second time. Whether or not YOU feel he deserves another chance is up to YOU alone. I leave my past in my past. No second chances no matter how much he may have changed.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 5:51 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • This is just gross. Cousin fucker.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:55 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • No, I'd start fresh.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 5:49 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • so you are asking us if you should settle

    if you want to settle for less, it is your business, but sounds like even you are trying to talk yourself out of this

    so my vote is NO
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 5:53 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • Uh, no. I wouldn't give him a chance just cause he wants to.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:21 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • Nope. I'd be moving on.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:51 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • I don't think I could personally get past that. It sounds like you're having your doubts. Ask your daughter what she thinks of it, if she's old enough to give an opinion, and really listen to her answer. And listen to your gut and your heart, because they won't steer you wrong.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:00 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • NO
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 6:18 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

  • Ex's should stay that way. I would never get back with an ex.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 6:37 PM on Nov. 11, 2013

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